Brian strolled into the tiki style bar, dressed in some green dress pants with a white sport coat.
"Are we on the set of Miami vice?" Eduardo chided.
"Don't you remember reading 'Based on a true story' at the beginning of Miami Vice? That was about me, man!" Brian smiled right back, taking it in stride.
"Well, I won't believe you if you tell me you're a drug dealer, so what do you really do for money?" Eduardo bantered back.
"For real? I'm a pirate, if you must know." Brian said loudly as if he were already drunk.
"WHOAH buddy!" Eduardo started off loud but faded his language to a hushed tone and put his arm around Brian, turning him to face the bar. "That would be one of the words you don't want to say around here. There are actually pirates around here, and you can't always tell who they are."
"Can you line up six pisco sour for me? Two for me, two for her, two for him?" Brian asked the barkeep while pointing at the bar in front of his two new friends. "Really?" he turned now to look sideways at Eduardo. "Real pirates, or are you just messin' with the tourist?"
"No, for real man. The only people who go missing around here are on account of the pirates. And you really can't pick 'em out. Its better only to be friendly to the people who are friendly to you. And don't say the word 'pirate'. Or 'Mafia'. Or 'Cartel'. But mostly 'pirate'."
Brian downed the two pisco sours in thirty seconds apiece before they even touched the bar. He was obviously on vacation.
"Okay, on the sly then," his speech was slurring slightly now. "But that guy next to the music machine over there? The one with the huge Poncho Villa mustache? Definitely a pirate."
"SHhhh!" "Dude, I'm being serious, stop it with that word," Eduardo ducked his head while he spoke as though it made him speak softer.
"Okay, dude. You've been serious with me, I'll be serious with you. I'm a scrub tech. I work in surgery, I'm the surgeons third, fourth, and sometimes fifth hands." Brian strategically paused for a moment. "But I'm thinking of becoming a Peruvian surfing instructor."
Eduardo paused too, but then his mood lightened back up. "It seems like you've got more potential at drinking than surfing," His smile sliding back onto his face as he said it.
"Yeah, your back should be baby smooth after all the exfoliation from digging sand today," Lenka chimed in.
Lenka and Eduardo seemed to take it upon themselves to introduce Brian to a variety of local libations. Most of them had little umbrellas on top which were probably made in China. Brian was starting to speak loudly and he thought everything the two of them said was absolutely hilarious.
"So Brian, what's your woman status? Got one?" Lenka asked innocently.
"Uh, no." He said, still maintaining a smile that looked like it could never be erased from his face.
"So, why not?"
"I ... Have no idea actually," He said still smiling. "Do you guys have somebody in mind for me?"
"Well, maybe," She paused and began to scan the room. "Yep, definitely. Hottie with the black hair on your six," She smiled.
Brian paused, slowly turning to his right to catch her in his view. "Wow, you weren't kidding!" He paused again for his drunk mind to think. "Wow!"
"Brian, you're staring AND drooling!" Lenka quipped.
"Oh, Oh yeah, sorry. You were right though, she is absolutely beautiful," he stumbled through the words. "And I could crack a walnut on her...," He smiled.
Brian spun around on the barstool and grabbed his drink. He walked like he hadn't gotten his land legs yet over to the table with the dark beauty, pulled out a chair and sat down.
"Mind if you sit with me, beautiful lady?" He asked in charming drunk style.
She took a long pause to analyze him. Her eyes were squinting slightly, but they were definitely smiling coyly behind her attempted emotionless veil. Eventually the corners of her mouth began to roll up into a smile that matched.
"So, I hear you're a pirate?" She said with obvious humorous intent. "Tell me more about that?"
"Ahh, Yeah, well, at least I have my bachelors in pirating. I'm getting my masters now. My thesis is going to be on 'swashbuckling, raping, and pillaging'. It's nothing special but, it's what I'm passionate about." The silent competition was on, but she gave in, smiling first. They both began to chuckle, and then chuckling began to erupt into complete laughter. He started to tear up from laughing so hard. In the melee her handbag fell off the table onto the hardwood floor. Brian stuporishly bent over to pick it up. "Sorry," He said.
"It's okay," She smiled,"have another drink!" She exclaimed with a mischieveous grin on the left side of her mouth. Brian picked up his drink and swallowed it down to the last drop.
Lights out.
