I Should Have Never Kissed You (Lilo/Nouis/Zarry)

CHAPTER 1

"Lou....." Someone whispers behind my closed eyes. "Looouuuuisss wake up" they say again.

Silence.

Okay maybe they le- "LOUIS TOMLINSON GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED AND GO TAKE A SHOWER" they screech in my ear making me shoot out of bed and onto the floor.

"What the carrot?" I question. Who the hell would wake me at, looking at the clock, 8 AM! Seriously. Looking up I find blonde locks and brown roots looking down at me. Niall. Of course. Bastard had a smug grin on his face, just cause he yelled and made me land on my arse.

"Hi Lou!"

"Hi Niall" putting more enfaces in my grogginess.

"Well get up LouBear! Today's the big day" he says with enthusiasm. Oh. Today. I was dreading today since we got off for break a week ago. Last week. This day. Was and I think always will be the worst day of my life.

*FLASHBACK*

We had just gotten off the stage at our concert in Lancashire. And Liam invited me into his dressing room.

My thought, it's my big chance maybe Liam will confess his love for me or maybe he would kiss me senseless. All these thoughts re-occurred in my head till I reached his door saying 'Liam Payne's Dressing Room' making my heart flutter by seeing his name.

I open the door and there he was changing. Like as in he didn't have a shirt nor trousers just his briefs, giving me a great view of his lower half. He smiled that breath taking smile that can make a girl or guy drop dread.

"H-hi Li" I sputter out cursing myself for having a weak voice. But I mean who could freaking blame me I mean god damn! The man is half bloody naked! One more layer off and I would have to run somewhere and "release" myself.

"Hey Lou!" He says waving at me. "Sit mate! You must be tired but you did great!" He says nicely. I've always been in love with how nice he can be to people. And how his brown eyes sparkle when he watches Toy Story or when he sees spoons and those orbs of his flash with fear. Liam. What could ever be wrong with him? He's amazing , well not just that. But there's to much to describe and there's not enough room in this WORLD! To describe my love and passion for Liam James Payne.

"Lou, Lou, you there mate" Liam say snapping his fingers in my face, dragging me out of my Liam world.

"Yeah just great! So what's the invite for?" I question looking him in the eyes, taking quick glances at those pink plump lips of his.

"Oh I just wanted to spend more time with you"

Awwww! To spend time. WITH ME! I feel special. Okay I'm good now. Just a bit ECSTATIC! I mean he's never said this before. Okay maybe I'm over reacting. Or maybe! He's gonna confess his love for me and we can finally be together.

"Okay no. I need you're help with something" he says again putting a serious face on. Oh. So he doesn't want to hang cause he's in love with me. I mean it's obvious he's as straight as wood. And not that kind if wood weirdos. -_-

So instead of acting said I put the best fake smile I can compose in 5 seconds. "Alright LiLi watcha need" I say brightly.

He gets up from his movie kind of chair thing, I don't know what there called okay. Jeez... Anyways, he got up and strode toward me with the confidence he normally has and sits so close to me his whole body brushed against mine. And let's not forget the fact that he is still in his briefs. Yeah. Wow.

"Ummm.....well I need help on proposing to Danielle" *CRASH* did you hear that? Yeah that right there. Was my heart crashing to the floor. That same heart belonged to Liam. The Liam that I thought would never hurt me, but he did.

My vision became blurry notifying me that I was about to cry. Fuck. I can't cry here not right now. Not when Liam doesn't even know. It's not like he will know.

"W-well wwhh-what do y-you need from m-me" god dammit! I bloody stuttered!!! I sounded like such a female! Ugh. Dammit dammit dammit. Bloody hell!

"Uhhh...are you okay Lou, you look as pale as a ghost mate" Liam says bring his face inches closer to mine, examining if I was alright. But all I could stare at is his lips. Those beautiful lushes kissable lips.

Without thinking, I kissed him. HOLY SHIT! His lips feel like complete heaven. I moved mine against his with so much want I almost fainted. But all the while, his stayed frozen and shocked. He was so stiff, I just didn't do anything, just kept going. I didn't want to lose the heat of his lips.

And in a flash it was over. He had pushed me away, so hard I fell over the couch and landed on my face. Which fucking hurt!!! I looked up and regret it. Regret walking into this room and talking to him. I regret kissing him. Because what I saw was....hatred in his beautiful brown/hazel. Hatred. Towards me. And that's when it began.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! YOU DISGUSTING PIG!! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU YOU FAGGOT! WHAT THE FUCK! WHY WOULD YOU KISS ANOTHER MAN YOU DISGUSTING LOSER!! WHO WOULD EVER WANT TO BE YOUR BEST MATE! WHO WOULD EVER LOOK AT YOU! I HATE YOU! AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME! JUST BECAUSE WE'RE IN A BAND DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN EVER BE MATES AGAIN! FAGGOT!" I take that back. Him proposing to Danielle isn't at all bad. This right here. First time being called a 'faggot'. It hurts and from Liam, it burns like hell. It burns and it stings it's as if someone poured Clorox on an open wound. That's how bloody fucking horrible it feels.

All I can do after he says that is let the tears flow, the tears from wishing to have him mine to him and Danielle to the proposal till now. I just let them come down my face.

I looked him in the eyes and saw my reflexion, my weak and vulnerable state. My shoulders shaking, my hair a mess from falling and my face contorted with pain, fear and sadness.

What I saw was a loser. And I deserve what he tells me. I deserve to be called a faggot. I'm....I'm worthless.

"Don't look at me you worthless cunt" he spits at me. And I just take it. I take all of it, why? Because as he said I'm a worthless cunt.

"When I get back here and your not gone. Your gonna regret it." And with that he was gone.

Leaving me to sob and cry hysterically. I felt like I cried for hours, but I still had tears its like I was holding them back forever and just never wanted to cry until Liam broke me.

"Lou are you okay? What's wrong mate" I look up and see a worried Niall searching me for any marks but of course he found none. Because there weren't any visible marks. The marks were inside. It felt like World War II in my heart and in my whole body.

"Yeah just peachy, just kinda sad that we didn't get to meet all the fans and the tours over" I say with true sadness even though that's not at all why I'm sad.

"Awwww mate! There's another tour next year! And there's a lot more fans out there! You'll get to lkmeet them lad. Come on get up Paul is looking for you! Everything will be all good! " Niall says cheerfully, getting me up and heading towards the exit of 'his' dressing room.

Niall says its gonna be okay. But, I know it won't be.

*END OF FLASHBACK*