"There it all goes."
"Yeah."
"We should run, shouldn't we?"
"Is it worth it." You say it as more of a statement than a question, "Why run, when it's going to come anyway? It's over."
For a few moments I'm silent. Watching the blackness across the sky grow, watching it grow nearer with each gust if the wind. It's barely been hours since it happened. The earth shook, and you could see a flash, feel something explode, moments later, hear it. It was so forceful I felt it in my chest, rattling me to the core. I spilled my coffee on my favorite shirt.
"I think it's worth a thought, that's all." I say, grasping your hand and giving it a squeeze. "If only because of the future we dreamed of."
Now it's your turn to be silent.
"Then let's pack our bags and run for all it's worth."
So we did.
Packed up what we could, and drove.
It only took a few days for it to catch up with us, only took a few days to reach the sea.
Gas tank empty we lay on the beach.
The sand is cold underneath us, the lapping of the waves familiar where the coldness is not.
We used to come here, and that's what we're talking about. Day trips with the dogs, when the air didn't hurt to breathe, amd our clothes weren't covered in soot, raining from the sky like black snow.
"I love you," I say, grasping your hand again, my voice raspy.
"I love you too," you say it return, curling into my side.
It hurts to breathe. I can feel the soot enter my lungs with each raspy breath.
I can hear your breathing getting weaker.
Just like mine.
I feel tears drip down my face, amd I close my eyes.
I want to fall asleep.
I don't want to hear you die, even though I know the pain will keep me awake, and your breathing is getting worse.
I don't know how long we lay there.
I only know that when your breathing slows to a stop I pray for the first time since I was twelve. I pray that whatever comes next doesn't hurt like this does. I pray that I get to see you again.
My own breathing is getting weaker and weaker. We're both covered in soot.
I brush the black snow off your cold face one final time before laying back and closing my eyes.
I don't believe in God, I'm not religious at all, but at this moment I almost I wish I was. I almost wish I could believe that you're at peace.
Instead I just wish that I'll see you soon.
"I love you, in this life and whatever comes next.."
My breathing slows to a stop, my final breath as painful as the one before.
