Vape Tricks, Fish Kiss

29 2 3
                                    


A/N: Shoutout to lilypads12 and Destiny_Sage_Oswald for being co-authors on this fanfic with me. I <3 u lol. To our penguin pals, thank you for reading the love story we have created. One day, I hope all of you find the penguin love of your life.

. . .

It's a beautiful day in Club Penguin. You waddle your way to the dojo up in the snowy mountaintops. When you enter the dojo, there's only one other penguin there. He's a blue penguin in a karate uniform as white as the white snow. He looks like the sky, with it's blue sky and white clouds.

"Hiya!" you say.

He gives a high-pitched yelp.

"Ah," he yelps. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry," you reply, trying not to laugh.

Coming closer to him, you realize he has a black belt wrapped around his waste. You twirl the ends of your blonde pigtails. You always get nervous around male penguins. You only have a yellow belt.

"What's your name?" you ask, trying not to sound anxious.

"Voreman69" he replies, looking down at his webbed feet. Oh, you think, maybe he's nervous too uwu.

"That's a beautiful name."

He giggles. "Thank you. What's your name, miss?"

"(y/n)" you say back. "So should we play Card-Jitsu?"

"Oh yeahhhh," he says like the Kool-Aid man. He's so attractive.

The two of you decide to begin the card game. You already know the drill. It's like rock, paper, scissors but different. Instead, you use water, fire, and snow. Water beats fire. Fire beats snow. Snow beats water. Voreman69 flexes his flippers, ready to fight. He's a black belt, so obviously, he's going to beat you. But you give it your best shot anyway. You can't give up now. Maybe if you beat him, you'll impress him.

You look down at the cards in your flippers. You have a one-in-3rd chance of beating him. You only have to choose between water, fire, and snow. You finally decide. You grip your card tight, feeling the tense rise of the air.

He places his card down: fire. It's so hot. But then you place your card down: WATER! Your water extinguishes his fire. It gets steamy. He moves closer to you, moving like water down a hill. You imagine huddling closer to him for warmth, putting your head to his feathery belly. But he stops a foot away.

"You won," Voreman69 congratulates you. "You have now earned a orange belt. Conglaturations." The way he mispronounces things is so sexy.

You grab your orange belth like Quasimodo in The Hunchback of Notre Damn (your favorite movie) grabs the rope of the bell and pull it to ring the bell.

"Consider your bell rung," he says. You realize you said that whole thought out loud, but it doesn't matter because he seems very into you.

. . .

You roll over in your bed to see the unrealistically long handsome blue stubbly sexy cerulean face of Voreman69. You look into his ice. His emerald green orbs seem to swallow your very soul. He's vaping, which is very sexy of him. Suddenly, frost swirls around him. The vape clears, and he's transformed, all decked out in business goose attire. You clasp his cutiecle. "There there" you coo, stroking his Happy Feet. As he gingerly pokes your ginger friend, Ed_Edd_n_Eddy_She_Ran, you realize: your not wearing pants.

Could you be penguin pregnant? Prenguint?

Suddenly you wake up. Your'e in penguin hospital: Weenie Hut General. Kowalski from Penguins of Madagascar appears out of the corner of your cornea. "Oh good your up" he guffaws. "WHAT HAPPENED!!!" I stated in a monotone mono tone. "After becoming pregnant you had to have an emergency surgery. You had to have an emergency brain transplant." Dazed and confused and slightly lost, you ask "where is Voreman69?" And Papa Kowalski replies "who do you think have you the Brian?"

JUST KIDDING.

This happened all in your dream. You wake up and Voreman69 is not in your bed. You feel disappointed, and then you see a postcard. It's from your hunky boy, Voreman69. He says, "Meet me at The Pizza Parler [eggplant emoji] [eggplant emoji] [smiley face]." You don't really know what the eggplants mean, but you're excited to try eggplant pizza.

. . .

You meet Voreman69 at The Pizza Parlor. The two of you vape as sizzling hot pizzas shoot out of the Pizzatron 3000.

He says, "(y/n), you have teh coolest vape rig ive ever scene" with a sultry sexy low-tone cracky voice.

"You blush"

"What?" he asks.

"Oh whoops," you say. You blush.

He's gobbling his fish pizza, while you eat your chocolate pizza. Not an eggplant in sight. Your dissappointment.

"Do you want some fish pizza?" he asks romantically.

"I have a severe seafood allergy. That will kill me." You say shyly with shyness.

He rubs your flipper. "Oh I'm sorry. You can't eat fish ice cream then. That's sad."

His flipper is on yours. Your heart beats fast. You don't know what to say. He's vaping, and he puffs a huge cloud of smoke which turns into a heart in the air.

"Voreman69, is that how you feel about me." you say.

Voreman69 looks into your piercing (your eye color) eyes. He said, "(Y/n), ever since you beat me at card-jitsu, yesterday, i couldn't stop thinking about you."

You blush again.

He presses his bill to yours. His bill is soft and luscious. You close your eyes and imagine your life together. You found the penguin of your life. You can imagine raising your puffles together, your yellow Nini, your purple Noonoo, and your blue Naynay.

You kiss him again and again, breathing in his fishy scent. Oh wait... Oh no, you start coughing. Your bill feels fuzzy.

You two pull apart. Voreman69 dabs. It's so romantic, but you can't pay much attention because your stomach starts convulsing.

"Are you okay, (y/n)?" he screams.

You start dying.

"The fish! The fish pizza!" you say.

Voreman69 begins to cry. He holds you in his flippers.

"I love you, Voreman69."

"I love you too, (y/n)."

. . .

You wake up in a hospital bed.

"Hello," you say to the nurse penguin.

"Oh good youre awake." the nurse penguin replies.

You look around. No one is there. Voreman69? Where are you?

"Ummmmmm," you poke the nurse, "was there anyone named Voreman69 here?"

The nurse replies, "who do you think gave you your new stomach?"

Everything starts to fade to black.

"Voreman69, you should've let me die."

"No," he calls from heaven. "I love you too much."

As the darkness closes in, your last thoughts are Voreman69.

[server shuts down]

The Perfect Penguin PairWhere stories live. Discover now