My Secret Valentine (One-Shot)

CRUSH. Having one is wonderful but it hurts. Yes, thus the word: crush, meaning squeeze, supress or destroy.

As the orange-colored sky turns to a cryptic azure and veils Sol, the tiny hands of the cherubs uplift Luna. The night was obscure and the little stars do not want to materialize. It was about seven o’clock in the evening; I was heading my way to a welcome party in the university. Small drops of rain were streaming down on my cheeks; I opened my umbrella and continued walking. The cold breeze was hugging me so I started to walk faster. When I was approaching the hall, I can see the long line of students already. All students were waiting for their turn to enter the hall. I went on the end of the line and I was looking for some familiar faces. The light coming from the street posts was enough to make me see the faces of the students there.

One girl waved at me then I waved back even if I have not fully recognized her face. She is probably a classmate or a bloc mate, I said to myself. After 15 minutes or so, I finally passed in the hall. The violet shafts of lights welcomed me. They were too sharp that I cannot even open my eyes. I let my senses adjust to the party lights and sounds then I started to look for my bloc mates. They were in the front of the stage playing with the balloons. Few minutes after, the party has begun. The masters of the ceremony started the program. One of the MCs caught my attention. Is it the way he carry himself? Or he is just way too handsome? I was not paying attention to anything that night. The lenses of my eyes were focused on that guy in a white three-fourth shirt. I love the way he stand, speak, smile-- just everything! I will not call this love at first sight but as Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky says, “We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word have been spoken.”

UP based dance groups performed that night but I really do not pay attention about the performers anymore, I just care about the host. UP based bands also performed. Music filled the whole place. After a performance he got up the stage and he introduced another band, I think he knew the vocalist of the band and they were talking then suddenly he just said out loud, in the microphone, “Do not be like that, my girlfriend is here.” Shoot! Ouch. I was frozen for a moment even though it is not even cold inside the hall. Those words made me smile. A bitter smile it is. After he introduced the band, he came down the stage and sat on a chair in front of me. I smiled because we are just a meter away from each other but that smile fades. Beside her is a girl, they smile with each other. The moment that he kissed the girl in the forehead, I knew it, she is his girlfriend.

Life is just amazing. In just one night I experienced falling and getting heartbroken all at the same time. I guess, it will always be a one sided love for me. Am I destined to always have an unrequited love? Maybe things are not always meant to be and you just cannot get anything that you want.

It is almost three months when I first saw him. Time flew fast, right? But everything is still fresh on my mind, everything that happened that night. I still have that white balloon that I got from that party, that balloon that reminds me of him; of that day when I first met my first college crush. Fortunately, destiny made me see him again and I cannot help but smile every time that I see that tall guy who make my heart thumps. Even though I am hopeless, I am still hoping that maybe someday he will smile at me. I am not asking for something big, a little will mean so much for me.

            Those things that happened that night, it may be nothing for him, but I swear every single moment for me was real.