Short Stories That Mean Everything and Nothing

It's been awhile

It's been awhile since I've felt this low.
It's not that I was getting better, I simply neglected this saddens.

I've had my heart played like a musician learning a piece, again and again until I was told it's not you it's me by the sheet of music and my inability to get it right

Why claim you might like me to lead me on? You're making it harder for me to fall truely and deeply; I just end up at the end of the line that falls short of where I needed to reach.

It's been a while since I've felt this way.
It's been awhile since I've expressed these woes but you'd never know.

I work and work hard,
I try my best despite lack of motivation but what I earn is what others take
whether it be money, my emotional stability or mental state they chip away until I break in my room alone in silence.

It's been a while
Like greeting an old friend
Waiting to see you again
with open arms it wraps me up
Until I cannot breath the reality of the situation.
It covers me in tranquil chaos that I slowly lose my mind too
It feeds me the thoughts I suppress that swirl into a downfall of self pity and hate
Until I am blank

Void of emotion done overthinking
Over feeling
Over being used and left behind

It's been a while since I realised you've lied to my face.

Reassuring our friendship,
Telling me I'm needed
I'm important
I'm an amazing support
But they're all things that I give and you take

I'm lost between my thoughts the ones filled with doubt but hopeful trust that can't find the line of what they're supposed to be.

But I won't speak out because I'm afraid to lose you more than I'm losing myself

It's been a while since I've broken down so rough
It's been awhile since I've written something you'll never read
It's just been a while

Written: 1/03/2020

Finished: 11:15 pm

Not edited