Catarina
"I still can't believe you made the dinner" I walk in the kitchen with a tiny surprised smile. Chad made the dinner today to apologize for everything he did. That's kinda weird because he never does such things, but I always believed this man will change and I guess today is that day. I slowly walk to the table and sit down. Chad wraps his arms around me tightly making me almost unable to breath. His hands are cold on my bare skin giving me shivers. He is trying so hard to be a good boyfriend, but sometimes his actions are just too harsh and he doesn't know what he is doing. "Hope you'll like the dinner baby" his raspy voice says on my ear giving me goosebumps all over my skin. I don't like being called baby, it makes me claustrophobic for an unknown reason and it gives me the feeling of being controlled. Like babies, they are always controlled by the adults. I gulp and sit down. I put some food on the fork and move it close to my mouth. At first when I eat it it's actually really tasty, but then, either the room started spinning or I started to do back flips. The air became hotter and denser like in a desert. I close my eyes and then open them again trying to breath normally, but I'm not succeeding. My vision of Chad and everything is really blurry. "How are you feeling?" Chad's voice along with some other unknown sounds run through my ears like a swarm of bees. "I, I" is all I manage to say before closing my eyes sweating like crazy and slowly loosing my consciousness.
"I can't" I pull away from Hero fastly as his hands touch my bare thigh. As much as I want and need Hero right now I can't stop thinking about Chad, about how he drugged me and how his dirty hands touched me, he basically raped me, the feeling was awful, I can't even use words to describe how much trauma he caused me. I know I promised myself I won't let my past affect my future, but I can't keep pretending everything is fine when I still have nightmares and get scared when someone touches me. "Why? Hero looks at me breathing heavily still with his lips and cheeks stained giving him the adorable sexy look. "Because I" I stop for a bit thinking of what I'll say. I don't want to say I am scared because that would make me seem like a coward. "I don't want it, kissing you was nice, but I prefer to stay on that line, you are not really my type" I say lying with every single word I just said. I don't want to tell him the truth. I don't want him to feel pitty over me, I hate when people only seem that they care when they are pitty over me and I don't need his comforting words. he blinks and nods his head. "Alright then, I'm going to sleep, excuse me" he stands up fastly and walks past me leaving me and my sick thoughts alone. This really won't end well, I can't keep lying to Hero about my feelings towards him. Every day he is so sweet to me and I'm falling for him a little harder.
Hero
I don't know what I did wrong or what is wrong with me. The truth is that I'm in love with her, madly in love, I know her only for a few days, but she has got my heart already. I actually thought I was being nice to Catarina all this time. I wasn't that nice to someone since a long time ago. And every time she smiles to me with that gorgeous smile of hers or we make jokes and laugh together it makes me think that maybe my feeling is mutual. But I guess I was wrong, or I need to search more and get my answer.
