Time After Time || Chris Cornell

15. This Halloween So Unlike Any Other

Seattle Washington, October 31 1986

(Chris is 22, Andi is 20)

CHRIS: "... ok then Paul Stanley," Kim jokes sarcastically taking a sip of his beer as I finish painting the black star over my eye and walk out of the bathroom.

"What...? This is perfect though you have to admit," I say looking down at myself with the large plastic knife sticking out of my chest, fake blood splattered all over my ripped white t-shirt and down my jeans with fake stab wounds all over my chest.

Halloween 1986. My favorite time of the year. The one of year time where I can dress up and pretend that I'm not me anymore. I can fucking drink my fucking face off and just have fun. Well I know I can do that pretty much any time, I am in a band of course, but it's specially fun doing it on Halloween. Kim and I are meeting Susan down at a huge house party on 22nd and Main street and everyone is supposed to be there. I know, I'm not normally one for large groups of people but tonight I am making the exception. I feel fucking great.

Susan and I have been seeing each other pretty steady for just over a year now. At first we were just friends since she started managing the band and we were pretty much just having fun with each other. But then sometime last fall, we started becoming a little bit more than just friends. She is really sweet and I have a lot of fun with her.

Now I know what you're thinking. What the hell happened to Andi? Well I'd like to ask that same question myself. I don't know what happened. After that last time she showed up and she told me she loved me, and we made fucking beautiful amazing love to each other, she disappeared and she hasn't come back since.

I know... I know... she can't help it. I can hear you all yelling at me through the pages, I get it. But what the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm tired of missing her and I'm tired of feeling the horrible heartbreak each time she leaves me. What if after all this fucking time, we don't ever actually meet each other. What if we aren't even together and this entire time was just all completely made up?

I don't have to hide with Susan. I can actually bring her around my friends and out in public without worrying if I'm messing up any sort of fucking time line that I haven't even experienced yet so how do I even know if the whole fucking thing is true or not.

I like Susan. I like her a lot. I may even love her and that's good enough for now.

"I call it 'death of a star man'," I joke and Kim just looks at me with a smirk. I'm not a Kiss fan at all so I figured I could be ironic with pretending to be Paul Stanley - a brutally murdered Paul Stanley.

"Hey at least I'm dressing up here... what the hell are you supposed to be?" I ask. Kim gives himself a look over at just what he usually wears - jeans and a t-shirt - and then takes another sip of his beer.

"I am a guitar guru," Kim says closing his eyes and making the motion of meditation with his hands while I just smirk and shake my head at him.

"We should head out, everyone should be at the party by now," I say as I grab my leather jacket that was by the apartment door.

"Where is Hiro anyways?" Kim asks taking another sip of his beer and rises from the large reading chair.

"Who knows... probably at his parents or something," I say as I slip on my jacket and pull out the pack of cigarettes from my pocket to light one up. Kim downs the last of his beer and sets the empty bottle on the coffee table.

"Alright, star man lets head out," Kim jokes and I chuckle as we head out of the apartment.

*****