My sad thoughts

Part one when will I see you again?

Holding your hand kissing you check Walk in the sand talking about the future...

Are future.

You where and always will be my second half you held me when I was sad you loved me with all your heart and all you asked for in return was that I did the same and I tried with all the life that I had in me.

You where getting sad you would come home and cry in my arms and I would hold you for hours trying to make you feel better and I thought it was working I thought you where getting better...

I thought we where getting better

Until I was driving home one day and got a text I was happy to see you text me, that work day didn't go so well I had Bluetooth read it a loud and I drove home as fast is I could and I called the cops on my way there

I was to late, I was always to late I pulled you in telling you to hold on help was on the way and everything was going to be ok you where going to be ok but in the end I was just to late.

In the text you said that you loved me and never wanted me to think any different that you where sorry and that you just felt trapped so very trapped.

I remember one time out of the blue the week before you said to me
" When I die I don't want to be barred" you didn't want people to see your grave and cry or feel bad I didn't know what you meant but I just said back to you "You won't be dieing anytime soon but if that's what you wanted when the time came then I'll do as you asked" and when I time did come I keeped my word I got you cremated I went to the beach the same beach we would go to so that we could just get away from everything and everyone and scattered your ashes so that you could be one with most beautiful thing on earth so that you didn't have to feel trapped so that you could be free. I thought about how when I could you beautiful you would start to blush and say "No I'm not" I would always tell you you where again and we would go back in forth for what felt like hours those where some of the happiest hours of my life some times didn't know if you felt that way or if you just got used to I idea that no matter that I was going to  fight you and tell you you where the most beautiful person I knew.

It has been a year since you left and I can't help but ask when will I see you again?