Freya

1_My Life

Quilandra's POV

Flashback

Walking...... Motorcycle..... Gunshots.....Blood....too much of it. And then I felt it, the gut wrenching pain just below my heart and boy did I feel as if I've been set alight. A loud scream  escaped from my throat, tears streaming down my face as I felt myself sinking to the ground but apparently I was not the only one screaming. I could hear Graciara shouting but I could barely make sense of what she was saying, my mind couldn't allow it...not when I was so close to the gates of death itself that I was already planning a funeral in my head.

"You're going to be just fine baby" she says, pulling my head into her lap, tears streaming down her face. I don't know whether she's trying to convince me or herself because I know is my ending and I can feel it with all the darkness pulling me in. I should have listened but I didn't and now look at death opening its gates for me.

I don't know exactly for how long I have been unconscious but it's been a while if my surroundings are anything to go by. I'm walking around a hospital barefoot but for some unknown reason I feel as if I'm floating, my feet not feeling the ground I'm walking on. Something is wrong and I can feel it with every fibre in my being.

I feel myself panic even more when a nurse walks past by me without even a glance in my direction....I mean if I'm in a hospital, the nurses are supposed to make sure I never leave my room and knowing my father I'm sure he has bodyguards in every corner of this hospital.

No....no....it's not true...I'm still very much alive....I have to be ....she just didn't see me that's all. But even as I try to convince myself otherwise I know it deep down my soul that I'm dead or I'm dying but either way I don't exist...not anymore. Without knowing, I'm running down the corridors back to my room and the scene infront of me shocks me to the core, tears running down my face.

No....it's not possible...I can see the doctors trying their hardest to wake me but I can see that it's of no use...it's written all over their faces, in the way they're looking at each other and I cry even more....I don't even know how it's possible for me to cry if I'm dead anyways.

"Save her please....just do anything" I hear my mother shout at the doctors. When did they fly back from Greece? Wasn't it supposed to be for another three weeks? Looking at her holding on to my father for dear life has my heart breaking in a way I never thought was possible and knowing that all this is my fault, I wish I could take it all away, turn back time and just follow the rules but I didn't and I couldn't...no matter how much I wanted to.

My father has never looked so defeated in his life and the misery on his face is the final blow to my heart...what have I done?" Mom, dad...it's me Quilandra....don't cry.... please..... I'm sorry , I should have listened but I promise when I get better I will be the best daughter in the world...just don't cry anymore" and the realisation that they can't hear a word, it sends my emotions to the roof. I look at them staring at the heart monitor in horror and my heart drops when I see the straight red line and a zero. "We're sorry but......" and all I see is darkness.

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Cold water....splash...."Quilandra wake up.... Quilandra" am I in heaven already?Am I really dead?....my parents...no.....can I ask God to send me back home? The voice is gone and there is nothing but silence before I can form another thought cold freezing water lands on my face and I find myself choking on it. Is this how they welcome people in heaven or am I in hell? Not that I'm surprised....I mean I just left people in misery on earth so I'm sure the devil has some really great plans for me.

" What the .......owwww" I probably just popped a stitch right there as I try to sit up just to find Graciara staring at me with worry and sadness in her eyes. Well I'd rather wake up to her than to the devil himself. "This hurts like hell" I whine trying to fight off the pain and the fear from my nightmare. " You were having another nightmare" Graciara quietly says, lifting up my shirt to examine my stitches.