Holding On (A Harry Styles Love Story)

Never One to Leave

Rows and rows and rows of sad people dressed in black. It was an awful sight, really. Friends, acquaintances, and anyone who had ever so much as laid eyes on Amy's beautiful face came to say goodbye to her.

The sun wasn't shining, instead it was hidden behind gloomy looking clouds. Even the sky was mourning.

Red flower pedals decorated a long strip of black silk that lay covered the ground. In front of all of the rows, there was a simple white podium and an open casket. Everyone was talking to one another. It was the pre-funeral viewing, but the casket had no one visiting it. My mom tapped my arm softly. I turned to her and looked in to her tired, lifeless eyes as she asked me, "We should see her. It's time to say goodbye."

I didn't want to say goodbye. I didn't want to accept the fact that she was gone. I didn't want this to be the last time I saw her before we sent her into the cold, hard ground. It was too surreal. It couldn't be real, could it?

Without my permission, my legs started walking toward the open casket. I gripped the side of it as my tears broke the barrier and raced down my cheeks. I realized I was bent completely over her when a tear dropped from my chin and fell on her cheek. My heart broke. I wanted to wipe it so she wouldn't look so sad, but I couldn't bring myself to touch her. She looked so... gone. She looked beautiful, but she looked gone. She didn't look peaceful, nor did she look like she was blissful. She just looked like an angel whose wings stopped carrying her.

I found myself choking on my tears as I fell to my knees and cried. A shadow came up from behind me and dainty arms wrapped around my shoulder, holding me tightly.

"I know, I know." Jessica soothed while she rubbed my arm.

I positioned myself so that my head was rested on her shoulder and I sobbed. I could feel everyone staring at me, but it didn't matter. I was used to it at that point.

I don't know how long I cried on her shoulder, but after a while, my mom tapped on my free shoulder and told me it was time to take our seats.

I obeyed, grabbing on to Jessica's hand so I could drag her with me . Everyone stood as the family walked to the front row to take our seats. The family. My mom, Jessica, and me. We were basically the only family Amy had left. I wonder if my dad found out that his first-born child died?

As soon as we sat down, the preacher nodded slightly at us, forcing a smile, and made his way to the podium. The music that was playing suddenly stopped, and the world was suddenly quiet. Even nature held its breath as it waited for the first words to be said.

"Welcome everyone. We're all gathered here today to celebrate the life of Amy Claire Austin." He took a deep breath and I swear, he stared right into my eyes before he continued talking. "That's how all funerals start, isn't it? We try to turn funerals into a time to celebrate someone's life instead of mourn their death. We try to put on a happy face, but let's face it: We're all crushed. And that's OK. It's OK to mourn. No one has ever said that it's not OK to mourn. But, at the same time, we need to realize that Amy is in a much, much better place. She's much happier now. I think we can all agree that Amy lived a remarkable, yet extremely short, life. Beautiful, ravishing, radiant; those are all words used to perfectly describe Amy in every aspect. Because she wasn't just lovely on the outside, but she was lovely on the inside. If anyone ever needed someone to talk to, Amy was there. If anyone ever needed a shoulder to cry on, or someone to seek advice from, she was there. She played a large role in the life of anyone who knew her. Everyone needed an Amy in their life. And now, we're going to have to learn to go on without her. I know she would want that. We're going to have to be strong... Like Amy was. We all know that Amy had to overcome some rough times, especially recently... But she handled it well. Even when she was broken down, her smile could still light up any room. She set a great example for everyone. Not only did she exhibit these great traits, but she was good at passing them down. She was a great role model. I know that because I see the same traits in her sister." He smiled down at me and I tried to smile up at him, but I just couldn't.