Chapter aong: Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles
It was still very warm, but the air had a sharpness to it in the afternoons, a sure sign of Autumn. The smell of the sea was always present, but lately it had seemed so immediate to her, as if it came out of her very pores. She’d only lived near the sea for a few months, but she couldn’t imagine her life without it. It was one of the only things still that brought her joy.
She’d moved to Izmir for a fresh start, but her past haunted her, as it always would. She wasn’t running away, but she embraced the change, the opportunity to be someone else. She had something here that she’d never had before: freedom. University, her own apartment, even grocery shopping were things she’d never thought she could do for herself. Pride swelled in her chest with every new achievement, but not long after loneliness would wash over her like the tide.
It wasn’t a foreign feeling, even with loving parents and a little sister, she’d felt a sense of loneliness deep within her whole life. Until him . He came into her life like a storm, destroying everything but bringing with it the chance for new life. He was all the missing parts of her, but now he was gone and nothing could fill the void. She didn’t try to fill it, she didn’t want to. It felt wrong, to put something in his place, so she tried to create new happinesses for herself. She took time to appreciate all the little things that were good in her life and blocked out anything that reminded her of him. But at night, when her mind used sleep to freely roam, all she saw was him.
She was walking to class on one of those warm but sharp Autumn afternoons when her mind conjured up an image of him. This wasn’t uncommon, but hadn’t happened during the day in quite some time. She thought she had a hold of it, but she’d been slipping. It was odd, he looked different than how she saw him in her dreams. And one second he was there, the next gone . She shook her head and continued walking, reciting to herself all the organs in the thoracic cavity and pulling the strap of her messenger bag tighter across her chest in hopes of reigning in her heart.
Her biology class went well, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of an impending breakdown. She raced out of the lecture hall as soon as class was dismissed, holding her hand over her heart as if she could keep it in one piece. Normally she enjoyed the long walk to her quiet neighborhood, but today she wished more than ever to be a bird, to fly fast and far from everyone. Finally she reached the last leg of her journey, a crossroads; turn left up a steep hill and many stairs, or right through ancient twisting alleyways. She’d only successfully completed the maze to her right one time before, but she already felt lightheaded from the panic in her chest and didn’t think she could make it up the stairway. She turned right, hastily piecing together the route home in her head.
Soon enough she found herself down an unfamiliar street, cursing herself and trying to calm herself all at once, when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Her panic and frustration were forgotten. She could feel someone there with her, following her. The heavy feeling of dread flooded her veins, taking over all thoughts and actions. It was fight or flight. So she grew wings and flew.
She hadn’t ran like that in so long that in a way it felt good, to move through the streets with such reckless abandon. But the endorphins flooding her system were no match to the adrenaline screaming danger in every part of her body. Her senses were on overdrive. She could hear his footfalls behind hers, knew that he was gaining on her, could sense his size just by the sound he made and the presence she felt. Her mind was so preoccupied w/ her would-be attacker though, that it was unable to map out a route to safety, and she stopped short when she reached a dead end. There was no way forward. The old abandoned house at the end of the alley seemed to loom over her as an omen of coming death.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight and began to pray. She asked her father’s forgiveness for not being more vigilant, she remembered the last time she hugged her mother and kissed her sister, she asked God to keep her beloved safe and to reunite them when his time came. She grabbed her bag and clutched it tightly in front of her, protectively, then sent out one last prayer before the heavy footsteps stopped right behind her.
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FanfictionThis was inspired by the second season 2 teaser & the desire for Reyyan to run away, as was written in the novel. This is an AU for how I would want season 3 to start. I hope you enjoy!
