The Dock

Part 1(?)

This is based on a really messed up dream I had a few days ago. Of course, this is the "aftermath" of said dream. I don't normally write stories by myself, it's just not my strong suit. But I decided I'd give it a try.

If I do turn this into some sort of story I'll most likely do it in third person and there will be some definite changes to the plot.

Anyway, I'll get to the story-

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Trigger warning: Suffocation/ drowning. Flashbacks/ panic attack

The sky was dull and grey, clouds blocked out the sun which cast everything in a shadow and made my skin bristle with goosebumps. I was standing on the edge of the dock near my hometown. Dark smooth wood beneath my muddied feet, cool grey eyes gazing out at the deep greenish-blue abyss before me. A fine mist blanketed the water today, making it hard to see down into its depths. But no matter that I could hear it calling to me. The water. It's soft splashing as small waves hit the posts of the dock, the sound of fish smacking the water after flinging themselves into the air only to have gravity pull them back down. Even the surrounding woods seemed to whisper to me. "Jump. Jump" they said. There hollow voices speaking in the back of my head. That's when the tunnel vision seemed to take over. I lifted a foot just about to step off the edge when I felt a firm arm slide around my waist and pull me back to the docks' solid ground.
My breath caught in my throat for a moment as my mind centered back in on reality. The sounds of birds filled my ears and I could hear my friend, Vincent's breathing. He had me held against his chest, which was quite comforting. His body heat pushing the cold away and keeping me centered. Not allowing my mind to drift off.
"Are you alright, Boe?" He asked me in a concerned tone of voice. Which, I've become accustomed to after the many incidences happening after that day.
I nodded my gaze still focused on what I could see of the water. "I'm fine..." I said back. I could hear the disconnection in my voice. As if I'd gone elsewhere and was talking to nothing but air.
Vincent let out a sigh, turning me so I was facing him. The cold creeping along my skin again. "You're thinking about him aren't you? You're thinking of that day..." He asked looking into my eyes with his own.
He was referring to my boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend. He'd drown in this very lake, I still can't move on. After all, it was my fault he'd died that day.
"I can't help it. He'd still be here if I wasn't such an idiot." I gazed into Vincent's eyes. They reminded me of his. Soft Carmel brown with a ring of green around the pupil. I felt my chest tighten as I looked at him. As I stared into those eyes, all too familiar yet not the ones I fell in love with.
Vincent frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together, he'd never liked me blaming myself. I think he's given up on trying to reason with me over it though. In the beginning, he'd argue with me. "It is not your damn fault! He should've known you can't swim and you only hit him by accident." He used to tell me. But now he just gives me that face. The one that says I wish I could help but I don't know how. Finally, I broke eye contact, I was holding my breath. Not intentionally so, but because that's what happened whenever I thought of him. Memories of that day swirling around my mind like an angry sea. My chest was starting to hurt, but I refused to draw in air.

I could see it perfectly now. Like the clock had been turned back. We were standing on the edge of the dock, this dock. It was warm and sunny that day. It was me, Vincent, and... Him... We were just messing around and he'd pushed me off as a joke. The water quickly surrounded me. I clawed to get to the surface but I couldn't seem to reach it. I was sinking, my chest screaming for air. But there wasn't air to breathe in underwater. At least not for me. I fought it as long as I could but after a minute or two of struggle, I don't know how long it was, my mouth opened and the lake water flooded in. I was slipping in and out of consciousness, my body convulsing as it filled with water. Then it all went black.
When I woke up I was back on the dock, coughing up water. My chest and throat we're sore, and my mouth had a muddy taste to it. The dock was soaked, the patter of water dripping from beneath being the first thing my ears heard. Vincent was beside me along with my boyfriend. Vincent was preforming what I assumed was CPR on him. But after a minute of nothing happening he stopped. After I'd realized my love was gone everything became a blur and I don't quite remember what all happened after. Vincent later said that they'd both jumped in once they realized I wasn't coming up. From the way he talked I'd somehow nocked my boyfriend unconscious. Vincent hadn't been able to bring us both to the dock and it was already too late by the time he'd gotten my love out of the lake as well. He was gone.

"Boe! Boe, listen to me. I'm right here, please breath. I need you to breathe for me or you're going to pass out." I could hear Vincent saying. That pulled me out of the memory. I opened my mouth letting the air fill my lungs. It burned, searing down my throat like acid. I felt hot tears running down my cheeks. Why they where there? I don't know, I don't normally cry. I'm just not that kind of person, never have been.
Vincent was watching me, I could feel it. But I wasn't going to look at him, I couldn't look at him. Not when his eyes reminded me so much of my loves and so much of that day.