I'm lust in you

The day I knew I wanted you

We've known each other for about a year now and I still feel butterflies every time I see him.
I don't know why or how but no one can make me feel as happy or as sad.

I hate the fact he can control my feeling with a blink of an eye.
I would do anything for him but that's the problem.

I don't want him to know what he does to me how he drains me emotionally or how my heart beats out of my chest only by his eyes fixated on me.
Those looks are dangerous the way his eyes rake up and down as if they're looking at something divine makes me feel like I'm addicted to him.

But how did it all start? U must be wondering ...
Well that's a long story but all I can say is that I would've avoided a lot of hurt if I just didn't go to a stupid athletic game.
I remember it was me Omer and Cay with all the people in the younger years.
I never had noticed him before but the way he looked with that tight white T-shirt which highlighted his 6pack and his chain wrapped around his neck
I just couldn't ignore him or how attracted I felt to him .
We arrived and Omar started telling me that I had a nice body and he tried to touch my ass I was horrified to say the least .
But when I turned around there he stood taller than me,
I couldn't speak I physically opened my mouth but nothing came out.
He was so close to my face and scenarios of kissing him played through my mind but I then remembered why I turned around .

He then turned to Omar and said :"that's not cool man "
I was more shocked.
Why was he standing up for me when we don't even know each other .

I thanked him and as we split to do our own sports he wished me luck and gave me his chain as he couldn't run with it.
I made sure to wear it as long as I could and I couldn't believe how hot he looked.

I won 2nd place in high jump and I was so proud while he of course had won 1st place and was so humble about it while the younger girls kept complimenting him .
In my eyes he just became the hottest boy ive ever seen as he only showed interest in me while all the other girls were trying to get his attention by trying to twerk ...

And let me just say it was a horrible view .
We talked and talked about random stuff until the topi became about relationships I told him how I never have been in one and how I couldn't imagine myself in one and that it would take someone to convince me to get into one .
I'm as surprised when he agreed telling me that he wasn't a social butterfly as he lived to keep to himself and didn't open up very often and him talking to me was an effort for him as he's very antisocial.

I felt special but the time came and we had to leave
As I was about to stand up he likes me up and down before getting on his knee and doing my laces for me as he looked up and said :"don't want u to fall yet "

I was so tired and kept complaining about how I couldn't walk no more so he offered to give me a piggy back and let me just say I was going to break his back so I refused
As if he could read my mind he assured me he could hold me and carry me as he was strong.
My instincts to prove him wrong made me proceed and jump on his back.

When I tell u he really carried me as if I was a feather shocked me ...this guy is unbelievable I thought .
How could I ever not notice him ??

My bipolar self then decided I wasn't tired anymore and started saying I could do front flips obviously joking until kayden told me he could too.

The little girls in front of us turned around curiously -of course they were listening to our convo -and wanted koi to do it he said he didn't want to and I had a feeling he just didn't want to show them as if it was a special sight.

Now I don't remember how but we stayed a bit behind and all I remember is him turning to me and say : "now let's see if I make it"
His words were confusing but then his actions made me understand he did a front flip and his flushed cheeks and messy hair hell yeah it was a nice view.

Long story short we made our way back to the minibus but this time he seemed tired and regretting everything ,
Or that could just be me over thinking.
But I could tell something was wrong as he asked for his chain back and his smile disappeared.

That's when it all started .
That's when kayden came into my life or shall I say crashed with his beautiful self.
I knew this would take time and that he was way more complicated then any other boy but I was intrigued.

And then again how could i forget about that day.

We took our separate paths and only exchanged glances in corridors until they became hugs which didn't mean nothing at first ...but then ...you'll see .

He's my drug and no matter what he does he will always be my drug but am I smart enough to get clean or will I fall into his arms one more time
You'll see.