This Might Hurt A Little-A Dallas Winston Fanfiction

Heterochromia Iridum

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering."-Paulo Coelho

Eventually Mark and I rolled back into Tulsa and Tim Shepard himself was the only one who had the guts to tell me the news. Dallas had skipped town. I should have seen it coming. He ran away, just like I did. The only thing was, I didn't know if he was coming back. Tim wasn't angry that I had laid out Angela flat that one time anymore. He was too interested in knowing where Dallas had took off to. Memphis and Phoniex left as well, claiming they were going to look for Dallas but I doubted it. They wouldn't know where to look. They were'nt going to look for me in the same way my mother didn't look for me.

From the time I can remember, I've known my mother never wanted kids. It wasn't that she hated us, or even disliked us. She just didn't want children. I can't say I ever blamed her for it. She had a full speed career and had no time to be held down my kids. 

For the first days Dallas was gone I kept myself busy by staying with Sodapop and Steve at the DX. Things between Steve and I had cooled down, mainly because he put his resentment towards me on the back burners while the gang was falling apart. I kept the two of them company and with me nearby, they stayed out of trouble. Mostly.

It was the days when the two of them ran off to parties when it hurt the most to be alone. They weren't suffering through Johnny's death like everyone else was. Somehow, they were handling it. I tried hanging out with Ponyboy but he was so despondent I could hardly stand it. And Two-Bit was drinking himself into near oblivion and I don't think there's anything worse than being around a depressed and drunk Two-Bit. So, I spent most of time alone and that's exactly how I felt. I just couldn't figure out how to be without Dallas. I knew it was pathetic and embarrassing that I had thrown myself into a boy so wholeheartedly but I just couldn't help myself. i felt like a part of my chest had been carved out, leaving a gaping wound that nobody else could see or feel. The person I felt closest to during those weeks Dallas was gone was Tim Shepard. I swear he missed Dallas almost as much as me.

"You think he's going to come home anytime soon?" I had asked while sitting in Tims basement.

"Hell no. You did a pretty decent job running him off." Tripp smiled, his long hair falling in front of his face.

Tim shoved his shoulder, "Shut up, Tripp." Tim turned back to me, "I wonder where he is."

Tripp looked like he was about to say another comment that was going to earn himself a slap from Tim but he silenced himself. I had heard nothing but bad things about Tripp, but I knew he meant no harm. He had wild dark hair that fell in front of his face in long swoops. At the time, I thought he had kept his hair long to hide the fact he had two different colored eyes but, he claimed it didn't bother him. His right eye was so dark brown it was almost black, while his left eye was almost as light as Dallas's. I tried not to look at his left eye too much.

"Probably took off to New York City, you know the city that never sleeps?" Tripp tried telling us.

Tim looked at Tripp like he was the dumbest thing that had ever set foot on this earth. "And how'd he get there?"

Tripp shrugged, "Who knows? More importantly, who cares? He'll show up eventually."

Tim kicked out Tripp only a few minutes after that.

"You think he coulda' headed to New York?" Tim asked after he was done shoving Tripp out the front door.

"I have no idea."

One of the most stressful parts of the whole situation was that I didn't know where Dallas was, or what he was doing. Maybe if I would have known where he was hiding out it would have been bearable. But I didn't have a clue and it was killing me.