“Let’s break up.” Minjoo said to the person in front of her.
Minjoo saw how Chaewon’s eyes widened in shock, how she almost choked while sipping her caramel frappuccino, and most of all, how she did not anticipate this to happen on the day of their 3rd anniversary.
Minjoo never imagined that she’ll be breaking up on a cliché note. It’s raining outside and they’re on the café where they used to hang out, do their projects and assignments together, where they held their first date, and so much more. Basically, the café holds so much memories and she can’t believe that this painful moment will be a part of the memory that this café holds of them.
Minjoo suddenly remembered how it was back then. How everything started when Chaewon implicitly confessed to her back through suggesting a song and fortunately, Minjoo got the message and felt the same way. She also remembered their awkward couple phase, the way they used to steal glances when they weren’t dropping the news yet to their circle of friends, their awkward couple phase, the way they talked until wee hours about random things, and the way they both made efforts to fix any misunderstandings. She remembered how warm Chaewon’s hand feels every time they held hands, how Chaewon embraces her like she’s the most fragile thing ever, but above all, she remembered how Chaewon felt like home.
She remembered how she feels secured and loved whenever Chaewon’s near. She remembered how it all feels but it’s such a shame that she’s ending it now.
“Why?” Chaewon weakly said, with her voice cracking up. There were tears forming up on the sides of her eyes and she’s trying so hard for it not to lose to gravity.
Minjoo, before going here, thought a lot of reasons to say if she was asked ‘why’. She has already anticipated this. She prepared and practiced how and what to say but even if she had list on her mind, she can’t find the appropriate words now. Her tongue backing out to say the words she prepared. She found it absurd how her mind went empty and unable to think just because of a three letter word. She disliked how she clearly wants to back out from breaking up with her now but Minjoo knows that this is necessary for her not to further hurt herself.
Minjoo can imagine her Eunbi-unnie telling her that this is the right thing to do. That breaking up with someone who became the world, the center of your universe, is hard but it is necessary at some point if there are already boundaries crossed and if it’s not conducive for growing together.
Minjoo weakly smiled, “It’s not healthy anymore.” Was all that she managed to say without her voice tearing.
Minjoo remembered the cold replies, the cold shoulder, the way she cried every night because of Chaewon, the way Chaewon’s eyes doesn’t look at her the same way she did before, and a lot more but what hurts her the most was a scene she saw accidentally. She knew that she should’ve noticed these signs when it surfaced long ago because if she did, she could’ve saved herself from all of this hurt.
Still, even after all that, she knows that she still loves her but, at this moment, enough is enough.“We can still fix this.” Chaewon reassures with a smile. She had been certain that they can withstand anything as long as they communicate well with each other, and right now, she knows she’s in the wrong.
Minjoo shook her head no. “It’s already broken, Chaewon.” Minjoo sighed. “It can’t be fixed because my trust for you is already broken.”
Chaewon felt a sudden wave of emotions through her body. She felt her hands getting cold because of this and the cold temperature in the café didn’t help. She saw how Minjoo’s eyes reflected the pain she brought to her.
Minjoo remembered how she saw Chaewon in the hands of another one Saturday night. The night sky was clear, the city lights were as beautiful yet it was tragic. She was only strolling to get some fresh air until she came across a resto with transparent glass and she saw Chaewon looking happier than ever with the hands of another. That same night, Chaewon told Minjoo that she’ll be at home late because she needs to work overtime and seeing her firsthand doing sweet gestures to another broke her. It shattered the trust Minjoo has for her. She saw how Chaewon had her hand on the waist of the other woman, but what tore her most is that Chaewon looks at the woman the way Chaewon looks at her, which Chaewon doesn’t do anymore. And when Chaewon went home that night, she reeks of alcohol and of another woman’s perfume. What’s worse is that Minjoo found out that the woman is a co-worker or Chaewon at the company she works at, and the woman’s name is Hitomi.
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Serendipity | 2kim
FanfictionMaybe on this journey, I'll lose something but on the way, I'll find something better.