Steven the Chicken Nugget

The not so ordinary life of Steven

Steven the Chicken nugget was once just an ordinary nugget. He grew up with two loving parents and a wonderful sister. He meet who he thought was the love of his life, Susan the Chicken nugget, and they got married and had two beautiful kids together. Margret his beautiful, precious, princess of a daughter is just ten years old. Gretchen, his okayish son  is like 6 or 7.

Steven graduated top of his class and was voted as least likely to be editable. He was once a charming smart young man until a gloomy November morning everything changed. He went to his job and brutally fell 13 feet to the floor. There was blood, there was tears, there was for some reason ice cubes on the floor? Like wtf pick them up slob.

Steven spent two months in the hospital during which time his wife and his sister, Timmie, had gotten super close. He could no longer pursue his dream job of stripping, the closest he could get was being a janitor. After years of being a janitor his relationship was not the same. His wife spent more and more time with his sister, even kissing her goodbye.

Susan always yells at Steven that Timmie is just a friend, but Steven knows Susan doesn't kiss her other friends on the lips. Steven sleeps on the couch and eats two frozen meals a day. He was so touch craved he started going to see a prostitute. At first it was just for the company, but Steven accidentally fell in love.

Clave, the male prostitute wasn't looking for a relationship, he wasn't looking for a sugar daddy, but that's what he found. Steven and Clave met on the corner every Friday after his janitorial job. His life got flipped turned upside down.

His two kids were now in high school, they tell all of their friends that their father is a man named Robert who flies airplanes. They make Steven stay in his room when they have people over. Steven gets ignored at home, the only thing his family says to him is, "move." When he's in the way. He's come to crave that word more than he could imagine.

One day he decided he's had enough, "Do you wanna go on a date?" He asks Clave after picking him up off the street corner. "What? Really?" Claves chicken strip face scrunched up. "You're the least nasty dick I've tasted so far. I'd love to." And so that was that. Clave and Steven went to the fanciest restaurant they knew, Olive Garden. They had a wonderful date and even hugged goodbye.

When Steven got home he noticed papers sitting on the table, it was divorce papers, along with a note that read:

Dear Steven,
I took your kids and your sister. I hate you more than words can describe. All of my orgasms were fake but when I'm with your sister they're not she knows how to eat a lady out. Goodbye Steven. Don't try to contact me or anyone else in your family. We've all moved and changed our numbers. Also I took a shit in the bed.

With hate and diarrhea,
Susan.

Steven couldn't help but be overwhelmed with joy. Now he could finally have the life he wanted with Clave. He sighed happily and laid down in the bed, he felt something wet on his back. Then he remembered what the note said. Oh, shit! Literally.

~two years later~

It's been two years since that night. Clave and Steven have gotten married. They have an adopted a French fry named squiggles. Timmie and Susan were great too, they were living happily with the rest of Stevens family somewhere they would never be found, Wisconsin. Who knew a fated slip off of the stripper pole could end up making people fall in love.

The end.