I'm so sorry i stopped talking to you.. it wasn't to hurt you please believe me, it was never my intention to do so. I know I could tell you these things directly.. but I'm scared of the consequences. I'm glad you're going to Emma for help. She's always been real sweet to you, I hope she can take my place in some way. I'm sorry to do this to you.. it really eats at me. You were so fucking sweet to me no matter what & I wish I could go back and not stop talking to you.. maybe then there wouldn't be consequences. But I really need you to try and get through this I know you're strong and you got this. You've always had this, you just need some pushing & i know you can push yourself. You will forever be such a happy part of my life, even when we became bad for each other , I still had a good time. Which is why I needed to go, we were bad for each other, I needed you to be good for you. We just couldn't make each other happy in the right way.. &i don't mean that you didn't make me happy by doing things for me because all we did was laugh but, the drinking, skipping classes, the self harming, it was all bad and it needed to slow down but it wouldn't have if I stuck around. No I'm not saying what I did was right because what a fucking bitch I am to do that, I regret it because now you're lonely with no explanation on what happened. No I'm not mad. I'm not upset with you. I love you very much; I'm just not in love with you so I needed to let you go because I want good for you. Our friendship was the fucking best, amazing jokes, huge laughs, so many secrets shared. Our relationship was slowly destroying us and was becoming unstoppable. I had to make the decision for the both of us.. please understand. I'm not asking for forgiveness, but I want you to know I'm not mad, you're always going to be remembered when I listen to la vie en rose, everytime I see a ferret I'll think of Luna & Travis, I'll see tattoos & probably pick out ones that you'd probably like, I'll never forget that the first time I got gauges it was all because of you. My public high school experience was really fun & caused lots of damage but I don't regret it. I think I said what I needed to, im hoping I could answer any questions you probably had, I hope we meet again someday in a library or I hope i'll see you on tv for doing something great.. take very good care of yourself please, I did this to prevent more harm so please don't harm yourself. I love you man you're always gonna be a good & big part of my life. I wish you everything you want in life & the best of luck. I don't want to keep coming back in and out of your life so this will be the last time I can write to you.
