Chapter 19
I inhaled and... exhaled.
Calm your ass, Victoria. Calm the fuck down.
"Relax, Tori. You have to relax. Otherwise, something might happen to you, too."
Hindi ako sumagot at patuloy pa rin sa paghahabol ng hininga.
Can I really calm down? My mom got shot! And she's now...
Napapikit ako.
If I'm dreaming... please... wake me the fuck up!
"I-I... am sorry, Ate..." Biglang sabi ni Leigh. "Dapat... hindi ko sinabi sa'yo nang one shot lang. I should have known. I'm sorry."
I don't want to lie, she's right. It was the delivery of her words that immediately took me.
"You should have slowed down."
"Sorry, Ate. I can't do that. Baka mag-collapse ka pa."
Huminga ako nang malalim. "I want to see her..."
"Later..." Scott strictly said. "Uuwi muna tayo sa bahay. You still can't go there. You need strength."
"Are you... really serious about... Mom being... dead?" My eyes easily watered.
Nagkatinginan silang lahat. There's no withdrawal of news or at least... changes in reactions which means... it's true.
I'm fucked up.
Nagpakawala ako nang mahinang tawa.
"And then here I am thinking it was just a prank. Dumb. Fucking dumb."
"We would never joke about something like that..." Vance said.
I bit my lip, preventing myself from sobbing.
"Who shot her? Was it an accident?"
"We don't know the details but I'm sure everyone got their eyes on her." Nagkibit-balikat si Rhys.
Scott held my elbow. "Let's go... umuwi na muna tayo."
"Malalaman ko iyan doon." Mariin kong ani.
"Tori..."
"I want to see her. I want to see my mom."
Naiiyak pa rin ako hanggang ngayon. It's just that... it doesn't feel real. Nothing feels real about this.
Of all people, bakit ang Mommy ko pa? She's a good person! She's doing no evil!
Bakit? Bakit...
Hindi ko maintindihan. Why does it have to be her?
Kung nalaman ko lang na ganito, I should have stayed by her side all day. I didn't even get to bond with her recently.
And I don't think I will ever be...
"Just rest, Tori. Sasamahan ka na lang namin." Si Rhys.
"No..." Agad kong pagtanggi. "I don't need to rest!"
"Baka hindi mo pa kayanin. The competition just had finished. At isa pa, you're too emotional. You might break—"
"Do I look like I care about myself? I said, gusto kong makita si Mommy! Where the hell is my sister? Nandoon na ba siya, huh? I want to go there! I need to be with—"
"Damn it! Hindi nga pwede, Victoria! Huwag ka nang makulit!" Sinigawan na ako ni Scott dahil hindi nila ako mapakalma.
At ano... mananatili lang ako sa isang tabi like... nothing happened?!
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