Full Disclosure: Not About Chad

6 1 23

by allegory_

by allegory_

Ok, so full discloure: this story doesn't actually include any lads named CHAD.

To be honest with yous lot I'm not even completely sure what this story is about. There are many different ways that I could open it and many different perspectives I could start it off with.

I guess, for now, we can just go with the Weak Bitch who used golf - yes, golf- as an excuse to not have to watch a corpse get covered in custard.

She was judging me.

I had just poured out every damn thought and feeling that had been eating me up inside like some deranged hamster in heat - and she was judging me!

"Don't judge me!" I am agast, bewildered, betrayed.

She sighs. "Em, I just don't get what the big deal is"- as she explains she gesturates, I don't think she realises that she looks like a circus entertainer -"like yeah, it is an oddly strange and specific thing to ask for at your funeral but I've seen some pretty strange stuff happen at funerals and this is hardly the worst,"

"Yeah but-"

"Plus, you don't even have to stay for that bit; you do know they added in a small room to the side for anyone too weak and pathetic to respect the wishes of the deceased."

"..."

"I mean, come on! Your wish is to have your enimies forced to the ceremony and your re-"

"Shut up!" I look around frantically, suddenly very aware of the other people around us peacefully but angrily waking golf balls into the distance, "Shut up, I get it; I just can't stand to be around that family" I turn my puppy eyes on her, you can't bully and expose a puppy--it's literally illegal.

Flynn's eyes are cold and dead as they stare at me.

"You'll understand if you ever have the displeasure of meeting them."

The red-ette with neon pink eye contacts and a RÉUNION shirt on just sighs, turns around, and pounds the dirty, battered ball into the air and directly into a pond.

Another sigh "Damn-curry-noodles. I want some crisps- and not those nasty bland ones, the good ones!"

I laugh "yes okay, let's get you some crisps"