Learning to love again

Learning to love again: Chapter One

Chapter 1

I toss and turn trying to wake up from the nightmare that surrounds me. The most horrible moment is replaying it self repeatedly in my mind. The gruesome image of The Joker's dead body is unbearable. As I try to release myself from its grasp, it comes closer. How could this time have gone so horrible wrong? He was the most important person to me. Harley was important to me too, but without him, she was not alive anymore in a figurative way. She had floated about for a year or so before leaving me with Ivy. Ivy always the big sister could not help the unbearable guilt that she should have sheltered Harley more and hung herself.

 I suddenly awake as my dream started skipping at the image of The Joker's dead body. I am sitting straight up with my breath coming in raggedly and my vision blurring. Tears are pricking at me eyes and I try to hold them back, but when I see the calendar, I cannot anymore. The date, December 14th, which is the day that I blame for everything being so screwed up. The Joker with me working on a genius idea to take control over Gotham City with Harley leaning over him suggesting ideas we all knew would never work there way into the plan. Harley growing tired and picking me up, telling me of all her adventures. All too soon was taken away from me. As the memory of how my life was once fades I become aware of the harsh sunlight streaming through my windows.

Immediately I draw the black out curtains across my window. Relief floods me as darkness quickly devoures the room. As I looked about my room, which is large and filled with everything anyone would want, I notice my appearance in a nearby mirror. Covered in dirt, my make up gone in some places and smeared in others renders me speechless. I must have gone out for a run again. Although, I could not remember leaving it sometimes happened when I was upset and I had needed to get control over my self. I decide the best and first thing I should do is take a shower so I walk across my room to where my bathroom is located.

 Opening the door and flipping on the light, I immediately regret it and remembering what occured moments before I turn the light off and go in the direction of the shower. In the dark I manuver around the bathroom until I have steaming water pouring from the shower head. When the water is as hot as I can take it and I see plumes of smoke billowing from behind the shower door, I undress, open the door, step inside, and get lost in a sea of mist. I step directly underneath the showerhead, I feel the dirt and grime from last night's rendezvous pulling from me. Looking down I see dirt circling down the drain. I began relaxing into an abyss that has currently dominated my life. On autopilot, I grab my fragrant shampoo and scrub generous amounts into my hair, scrubbing repeatedly until I feel my hair clean of all grit. Next, I grab my favorite body wash, which, smells of juicy pomegranates and sweet mangos. When I know I am beyond clean, I turn off the shower and step out of the door. Quickly drying off with a towel on my nearby towel rack, I slipped on my fluffy robe and began combing my hair. I view myself in the mirrorr, seeing a different me from this morning who is clean and prepared to take on the next challenge. When I finish I step out of my warm bathroom into my cold rom.

Padding my way to the heater, I flip it on to heat up my chilly room and go to my closet to find something to dress in, since I am visiting Ivy's and The Joker's grave today. I always visited it twice a year, to remember the days of both their deaths. As I started searching through my closet for suitable attire, I hear the doorbell ring. Before I even begin to make my way to the door I know what I will see when I open the door. There will be a basket of red roses and nothing else.

I grab a nearby mask from the kitchen counter, a few of my newest gadgets as a precaution, pull my fluffy robe tighter, and open the door. Instantly I reach down to grab the basket, but in their place stands a pair of shiny black shoes. I look up and being greeted by a pair of green eyes I suck in a quick breath. He is dressed in a gray shirt with black slacks and has a slight tan about his skin even this late in the year. His hair is a lush dark brown that I want to rake my fingers through because it looks so soft. Shortly stunned I stare at him until he clears his throat. I immediately blush and recovered my character. Being thankful that my mask hides my flustered look, which turned out to be black with a glittering silver intricate design around the left side of my face, I start off the conversation.