Useless life taekook

Red

Red. A color so nice. A color that one meaning could ruin it. Red the color of love and lust. Also the color of the blood coming out of my wrist. 1 2 3....4 5 6 how much more can I take? How many more cuts? What else could I do. I mean it is the only thing that helps me feel better. This is the only way. The only way to escape from the pain. But why? Why did it have to happen this way. I mean I guess no one cares. There is no one in the world that I have. I am just nobody. Just the dust that you clean from you jacket. Something that everyone in their lives have to get rid of sooner or later. 

I had love and affection but all of that got taken away that night. The night that I realized that you did not love me anymore. The night I realized that I was never going to be enough for you. Obviously not because if I was you would not be with her. Why? I deserve it right? I am good for nothing. Just use less. I have nothing else to do but just stand here and watch. Watch my whole world crumble down. In a few seconds. Just a few actions from you made my world turn upside down.

Now here I am screaming, hurting, hating my life. Wishing that, that day you did not save me. That day you should have let me die. Crawling on the floor. Wishing that I was dead. I guess I cut too much and maybe my wish will be fulfilled. Ha look at me crying over some guy who never loved me. How pathetic and disgusting. No wonder he hated me. I understand now because I am starting to hate me too. I have no worth. How could I have thought that he wanted me. He never "Tried to help me" He just used me and threw me away. I mean isn't that what you do with garbage. Huh I guess I am garbage then. How many more words could I even use to describe myself. 

I have nothing else left to say. I should go now. And be more depressed with my life.  

-Taehyung