All's Fair in Love and One Direction

13: All's Fair in Post-It Notes & Pepper Flakes

Chapter 13

I don't realize until two mornings after the paparazzi fiasco exactly what the boys had wanted with the gigantic 24-roll package of toilet paper they bought on our Walmart run.

My car is covered with the stuff - toilet paper on toilet paper, probably all 24 rolls of it. I can't even see a sliver of paint through all of it. I didn't even realize it was my car until I pressed the panic button on my key and heard the muffled chirp. Those boys are so, so dead.

Stuck to the mass of clothlike paper that used to be my car are five Post-It notes. They read:

((A/N: KATIE TROLL. HAHAHAHA PAYBACK.))

Haha got you!! My idea by the way, don't pay attention if Zayn tries to take credit!! - Lou

"Bradford Bad Boy" strikes again!! I have the best ideas! Love you Andie! -BBB

I assume that one is from Zayn. The next one makes me laugh:

I would say this wasn't my idea, but it was so enjoyable I have to assume some responsibility! Enjoy hosing all this off! - Liam

Like I needed to be told.

This was all my idea Andie, love :) You can call me a thief ... just try not to let the whole store in on it! Hope you dont have anywhere to be quite soon, ha-ha! - Hazza

Louis had scribbled underneath it,

"LIES!! My idea!!" That boy ...

I can practically hear the Irish accent in the next one:

Hello lass, thought we'd give you a little surprise, seeing as you haven't bothered to come by for two days. :( - Nialler

Haven't bothered? I've been going through major One Direction withdrawal since I dropped them off at their flat on the way home from Walmart two days ago. Unfortunately, living alone and supporting myself has its drawbacks. It's a weekday; I have to work. Sorry boys. I peel off the Post-it notes and stick them in my purse, then reel out the apartment hose and turn the spigot. Thank God I decided to get an early start this morning, or I'd be late for sure. As it is, I probably won't have time to get breakfast ...

The toilet paper soaks up the water and begins to slough off, leaving a gooey mess on the asphalt. I'll hear from my landlords later; oh well, they really have no proof that it was me. I'll hose it off the parking lot when I get home tonight.

I look at my watch and tap my foot. Faster, come off faster, you stupid toilet paper!! I can't help but feel the tiniest bit annoyed with the boys. I turn back to the car and do a double take. Did I see something move inside my car??

The last blob of wet toilet paper slides off the backseat window, and I burst out laughing. Sitting inside my car, waving madly, are the five members of One Direction.

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It's completely impossible to stay annoyed with these boys - especially after Zayn and Harry jump out and help me finish hosing off my car, and Louis hands me a muffin and a Starbucks macchiato for my breakfast. They all pile in again - this time Liam's in front with me and Harry and Louis are discreetly double-buckled in the backseat, with Niall and Zayn on either side.

"So, um, what exactly were you trying to achieve by TPing my car and making me late for work?" I ask them once we're on our way. "And, no offense, but you do know I have to go to work, right?"

Niall fakes dismay. "You'd rather work than hang out with us?"

"Yes," I tell him (but as Louis would say, "LIES!!") "Because why would I want to spend time with the five most fun guys in the world when I could be waiting on angry, obnoxious, and unintelligible people all day?" I joke. (I'm a waitress at La Ruche [an upscale restaurant downtown] by the way. That's to pay the bills. In the afternoons Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday I have an unpaid internship as an assistant pediatric nurse at the local hospital where I hope to work once I'm in college. Yeah. I'm busy.)