dear m,
sometimes i wonder what it would be like if you didn't live so far away.
i picture us hugging.
kissing.
holding hands.
but then i make that picture go away. . .because we're just friends.
i don't love you. i don't want to be your baby.
but at the same time i do.
i miss what we had.
our relationship isn't the same anymore.
the way you speak to me isn't the same. . .
you're distant.
you close off your emotions.
you don't speak to me about your loneliness anymore.
that breaks my heart.
i care about you so much. . .i want to make those bad feelings go away.
you're worth it to me.
you're everything i want and need in this world.
but. . .
you broke my heart.
i don't trust you anymore.
but i forgive you.
and somehow. . .
i'd still do anything for you.
i think of your smile. . .
and the cute pouty face you make when i don't give you what you want.
and it makes me happy.
like i said. . .
i don't love you.
i don't want to be your baby.
but at the same time. . .
i do love you.
maybe just as friends.
but i do.
i love you very much.
xoxo,
your dearest friend ;)