| The silence between my thoughts |

eyes

As the wind goes through my fuzzy brown hair and the streets get dark, while the sun is going down to sleep, im walking to a cafe bar, not far from my apartment where i live in alone.
It's lovely outside and warm but everything feels hollow.

I enter the bar and order a coffee as i sit down next to the window looking at the sky that gets dark slowly.
Im a simple guy, i don't do many things everyday, all i do is sing and paint in my house and as a part time job i work at a flower shop.

The guy who works here comes and gives me the coffee i ordered, i wanted to say "thanks" but our eyes met very closely. I stare a bit without words or anything.
His eyes are beautiful as i blushed. He smiles and looks at me, "you're welcome" he says and then after he goes back to the staff.
I chuckle a bit while my ears are kinda red, he is pretty..but his eyes...

I drink my coffee as im overthinking feeling like that guy is staring at me from the distance.
Why does my heart beat like that? He is just a stranger and our eyes just met, that's all. I tell myself as i try to make him fade away from my thoughts.

I finish my coffee and then i stand up leaving the money and wanting to go home. The guy grabs my hand and i turn around looking at him, again, into his eyes. "What's your name?" He asks gentle a bit nervous. I stare at him silently, "Shin" i said, with a soft voice. "May i have your phone number?" He looks very gentle and nervous at the same time, but he's cute. "S-sure.."
I gave him my phone number and then i smile. "You have beautiful eyes" i said and then i wave at him leaving the cafe "cya!".

I walk home while smiling, i don't know why do i feel like this and why does my heart beat so fast, but he seems really nice.
Im starting to remember things i did in highschool, my first love that ended sadly. I smile weaker then and i try to forget everything again.

As i arrived home i get my shoes off and go directly to my bathroom to have a warm bath, just to think of what it'll happen. If i fall in love again i hope it will not be like.. The past one.
Im scared and insecure about shit still.
I prepare my bathtub and then i undress, seeing in the mirror my pale skin and untouched for a long time. I have some scars on my wrists and hands from my cat that is now sleeping.
I lay down in the bathtub looking at the ceiling in silence. Im thinking and this guy keeps appearing randomly in my thoughts, his face and eyes and the warm smile he gave me, makes my heart beat fast.
I cover my eyes and smile "well i guess i can't help it" as tears started rolling on my cheeks again.
Im scared of what it'll happen and that i might end up hurt again. Im crying silently as i smile weakly trying to stop. It's going to be okay, he seems nice so why?
I wipe my tears away and i try to relax. "It's fine"

After the bath i dry myself and then dress up in some comfy and baggy clothes. I go in my room where i find my cat sleeping in my bed. I smile and go in the kitchen making some dinner for myself. Im a great cook, i can say that.

After i eat i go on the balcony and i sit on the comfy chair looking at the city's lights. My cat comes to me and jumps on my lap as i smile and pet it.
It's silence and all i hear are some cars from the distance.

Im thinking and trying to relax.
As i close my eyes a bit i heard my phone ringing, someone unknown was calling me. I receive the call and answer. "Hello?"
"Oh hey, it's that guy from the cafe bar" my heart beats so fast right now. "A-ah yes! Hi"
"I was wondering, are you free tomorrow? Maybe we could hang out and get to know each other" he says with a bright voice. He makes me smile as i answer "yeah, im free tomorrow. We can hang out. And also what's your name?" I ask softly.
"Kouta" he answers back and i memorise his name. Kouta means peace, i giggle a bit "that's a beautiful name".
"Thank you, so at um 4pm is that okay?"
"Yes it's totally fine with me, we can meet at the station and then we'll see" i answer while im petting my cat.
"Okay then it's settled! Also im sorry if i sound odd, you just seem like a nice person to hang out with" he says quietly as i chuckle "thank you, it's been a while since i heart that." i have a soft and calm voice for a 22 year old to be honest. "Is that so?"
"Yeah, long stories" i laugh a bit weakly. "Also how old are you?" i asked.
"Oh, im 25." he looks pretty young so i guessed. I smile and my cat makes a sound as in a way to announce me that she's hungry. "Good to know, now i have to hang up because my cat's hungry" i chuckle.
"Awe it's okay, see you tomorrow then!"
"Good night" i say and end the call.

It made my night better. I go feed my cat and then i go in my room.
I listen to music as i fall asleep slowly.

I am falling in love, i guess.

ʰᵉˡˡᵒ ⁱ ᵈᵉᶜⁱᵈᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ʷʳⁱᵗᵉ ᵃ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ, ʰᵉʸ ᵃ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ⁱⁿˢᵖⁱʳᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ ˢᵒ ᵐᵘᶜʰ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐʸ ᵍᵃʸⁿᵉˢˢ ⁱˢ ᶠʳᵉᵉ ⁿᵒʷ.
Hope you like it :') ❤Peace