Life in a shell 🐚

"Revenge"

"Taken matters in our own hands, is not the way it should happen. Waiting sometimes feel so long that it allows anger to build up in our bodies, causing hatred to linger on our hearts forever." I heard the music as I entered the room, but all that was there was a radio. Pacing back and forth, thinking about what I'll do. It's been approximately five months since he has force himself on me! This journey wasn't easy, countless visits to the emergency room, but I was so afraid to report Davon to the police for he had threatened my life on numerous occasions. I've spoken with Mecca and told her about the receipt, I found several months ago. Needed answers concerning this man. All I knew was his full name & age. Sitting at the computer for countless hours searching the web, finally there was a photo of a family portrait and low and behold there was Davon😱 Tears instantly flowed down my face. The information I've discovered had turned into something so deep, that led me to realize that the person I was loving wasn't who laid against me partially every night. He lived a whole life outside of the life we shared together. Every once in awhile we face obstacles, they are to help us along the way in life, it's just up to us to figure out what road we should take. Damn, I'm guessing common sense wasn't common because I choose the wrong path. I've had to been the largest "ASS" this planet has ever processed. How could I've been so blind? Was I looking so much for love that I didn't realize the truth? I needed my Papa😭 "Disaster Hit", Awoken from sharp pains in my stomach, a cold,yet moist substance drained on my body. Rubbing my hands along my thigh, BLOOD 😰 What triggered it off? I had no idea. There was no one close by to hear my screams, in so much pain I reached for the phone and dial 911. After a few moments the ambulance had arrived & taken me to Accident & Emergency. They rush me in the theatre, my eyes became blurry, was I going to die? Voices sounded further along than usual. Tears just ran down my face. What was happening to me? 😭 Was I cursed? 😭 Before I knew it my body felt drowsy, the air turned black all around me. Icy fingers touched me, sending shivers down my back. "Oh, what have you done?" Opening my eyes slowly to see who it was and the site of this beautiful face gave me a comfort of peace. It was my Mama! Body in so much pain, with no words spoken between us. I wandered if "She was disappointed in me".... Everything was happening so slowly around me, a drained feeling took over my body. In life no one dreams of losing someone they once loved, no matter the time frame of their absence, "Death" plays over and over in your head. As the doctor began speaking to me, I became so angry 😡 heart felt cold as ice. Violent thoughts entered my mind. Becoming a Mother would of been my greatest achievement, actually the only achievement. Shit.. I dropped out of school for a man I thought I'd knew, gave up on my family to please him. What did it bring me? Nothing, but hurt & misery. Piss off ? No! So much Anger arose in my body felt like I was about to explode. He's the reason I've lost the privilege of being a Mother to my unborn 😭😭 Dealing with so much stress, I didn't know another life was living on the inside of me. All of this happened because of one person, I'll stop at nothing until he pays. Though my thoughts were violent, I was still me but I wasn't quite myself.....