I woke up in pure white all around me. I could feel myself floating. I sat up and scanned the room. There was no one. At the front was a altar. An exact replica from my church. Piano and guitar to the left, bass and drums to the right. The stools all in place, rug dead center, speakers hanging from each side of the wall. Not a noise being made, pure silence. But I noticed there was no wall behind it. Instead it extended back further. I looked to see two chairs 10 feet back. I walked up and felt frozen once I got around 3 feet away. I noticed the chairs weren't chairs, they were thrones. I cried out, "Help!" Absolutely no noise. My voice was gone. Another came over my ears. Deeper, soothing yet strong enough to fold me down to my knees. "This is my son, with whom I am well pleased", the voice flowed. On all fours I picked my head up to see the 2 seats filled. In the center one, an older man. A thick salt n pepper beard leading up to a freshly trimmed high fade. Long dark grey hair slicked straight back under a tilted back crown. His eyes were literally on fire and burning off the outside corners of each eye. His smile soft, and stretched out just right. "But was he pleased with himself", He asked gently. "Answer", demanded the other man. His posture was straight, he had the same beard only His was dark brown. His crown wrapped around the front of His forehead. With all the exact same features of the older man. I immediately shifted into sitting, I knew who they were, where I was, and what was happening. "No I wasn't, God. I feel like I could've done more to share Your Love", I responded in disappointment. "Who are you", questioned Jesus. "I am a child of God. Serving and sharing for God's glory, honor, and praise." My answer seemed to be right because we sat in silence for a second. God responded, "who are you to judge yourself? Are you me?" "No", I said, "But I have your spirit inside me, and you've been with me all my life. Even when I didn't see it. You blessed my life, even when I was so undeserving. And as hard as I am on myself for what I've done, I've also found forgiveness inside." "Is that why your repentance was always broken", Jesus asked.
"Repentance is to turn away from the sin and ways completely to follow You", I could feel my heart pouring out, "I could never stop being human." God laughed, "My sons, arguing over what the next step is. I'm just glad to be here spending time with both of you." I blurted out, "I know it's my faults that are being judged. And that the path to hell is paved with good intentions. I don't have anything to present but my heart for You, God." Jesus smiled, "Do you think because you admit your faults to Our Father, that it will save you?" I had to sit for a minute and consider all my life. "I don't think", I stated firmly, "I believe that He makes all things work for my good." "Son", Gods words smoldered everything I said so far, "So why was so much of your life spent dwelling in the dark?" He seemed a little hurt. The force that was holding me in my spot now pushed me onto my feet and forward. I motioned God and Jesus to stand and held them both tightly. Muffled, I said, "I figured you were granting me salvation. By allowing me to live in the dark for so long, I was able to see the light. That lining between the clouds that poured down from the sky. And I was eventually able to find it within myself to quit being one foot in the secular, one in the spiritual. What I cannot do for others I must do for myself. I spent a long time with my family. I couldn't leave them behind. We needed each other. I love singing and playing for you. I love every moment I've spent in your presence. You allowed me to bring heaven to earth. So I thank you." Tears were falling out of His eyes causing steam to rise. He set me back a few steps. I let a few tears shed as I put my head down. "I love your work", Jesus said as he put His hand on my shoulder, "But you wanted accolades. Trophies. You wanted to show off. You wanted everyone to see you." "I received those gifts. And I thanked Heavenly Father for every single one. Knowing I was so undeserving. But still allowing me to take care of my family. Pull us all out of that place. We were treated like the dust we were made from, while others only viewed themselves as better than. And when I was allowed to face them with Faith. I did not fold." God stepped in between me and Jesus. Before His hand fell, I grabbed it and squeezed it tight. Mouthing the words thank you. He faded away. "You know you are one of my absolute favorites", God asked me. He put His arm around me and walked me back towards the front of the altar. I was thinking of something to say. Anything to do that was for Him. He turned me around and said, " look at that altar. That's where you started. I dropped you in the lap of some capable people. Who looked past your flaws to see your talents. Some were unwilling, struggling to be set free by the unconditional love you shared. Do you think they speak of you now or themselves?" "Themselves", I shot back. "I am the least of these." God had nothing but a smile on His face, "Still lying? I would've hoped you dropped that earlier on in life." I could find myself feeling a boiling feeling. Almost like my insides were churning inside me, "I tried so hard to put in Your hands. Every note was a cry out to you. But it felt like you weren't reaching back." I could feel my eyesight slowly hazing. "Son, get some rest we can talk about it more when you wake up", I could hear the concern in Gods voice, "I'm sorry, I love you." I closed my eyes...
