Let Go

Chapter 20

Abby's P.O.V

I stare blankly at the clock. The heart monitor beeps steadily beside me.

"Abby." Jett tries for what seems like the millionth time.

I refuse to answer him. I refuse to look at him. I refuse to speak to anyone. They won't let me leave here until I say something, and they know I'm stable, mentally and physically. I heard the nurse quietly tell Jett that. When nurses come in here they act as if I'm not here, and it's only Jett and an empty bed. It makes me feel more invisible than I already am.

The clock reads 4:21.

Six hours and twenty one minutes since Luke was here.

"Abby." Jett repeats. His voice is dull and emotionless.

What do I tell them? Even if I did talk what would I say? Oh I'm sorry I tried to kill myself and that I'm inconveniencing you with my life. I told Luke that I didn't know why I did it, but that was a lie. I knew why, I still know why. I kept messing everything up, and I was losing everyone who was close to me. I still am, I'm sure. It's been a week since I last talked to Jess, and I doubt she even knows I'm in the hospital. I lost my parents. I lost Lana. I'm losing Luke, and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to lose Jett too.

So I do know why I did it.

But why didn't it work? Why couldn't one thing just go right for me? I was so sure. I had Jared convinced, Luke didn't want to talk to me, Jess was probably off with Axel, and Jett is never home on a Friday night. Never.

So why was he home that night?

I imagine a long sigh escaping my lips, because I refuse to make any noise, or say anything. Maybe they'll forget I'm here. They already act like it.

"Abby, please talk to me." Jett begs.

The clock hands tick around the circle, counting every second that passes by that I'm in this horrible place. A nurse walks in, as they do ever so often, to check my vitals. Jett walks over to her, and speaks in a low tone, "Can you stay with her for a little bit, I need some air."

He talks as if I'm not here. They always do. The nurse nods, then continues to do small tasks around the room, straightening the sheets, opening the curtains, wiping the counters. She hums to herself as she completes them, and I wish my life could be as simple as hers is right now. I wish it could always be that simple.

But it can't.

And with that thought, I let myself drift to sleep, because I want to go back to the place where I don't have to worry, and where there's a deafening silence, and there's shapes made up of the same lighter and darker shade of black.

~

When I open my eyes the room is illuminated by the evening light coming in through the window. I look at the clock.

6:35.

I look around the room and see they set my dinner tray next to my bed, within arms reach, but I won't eat from it. I refuse.

"Good, you're up." A familiar, yet unexpected, voice says. My head snaps to the right, where the chairs are for people who want to visit.

Asher.

It's a good thing I haven't been talking, because now I'm speechless.

"Look, I've come to talk to you and tell you some things. I care about you, and I don't want something to happen to you just because you won't talk." He looks at me seriously, leaning back in his chair. I look at him expectantly, but don't give him a response.