My Music (shinkami)

1

(BTW the songs in the chapters are not mine the songs used will be at the end of the chapters if your interested)

PSA: SUICIDE WARNING, POTENTIAL SELF HARM, HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA

-Shinso POV-

"ugh finally" I groan as I finish my newest song and start uploading it to my YouTube channel.

 I have a feeling this one will be popular, I write all my songs myself and record them too, vocals and background music are all done by me so it tends to take a while before I can actually upload the songs to the internet.

It was currently 5 am, my new video just finished uploading "hold on". I recently went through a breaku- well not really. My former boyfriend committed suicide a year ago. Eito was a good guy, he was strong and bold and always seemed to fit in with the crowd. Or so people thought, his parents both died in a house fire when he was 10 and he always said he wanted to be with them.

I looked back at the time to see 15 minutes had passed of me blankly staring at my computer screen, I was transferring to my dads class today so I should probably start getting ready for school. I take a quick shower and get ready for the day.

6 am, 

"SHINSO" I heard my dad yell from the kitchen of our small apartment.

 I walk down the hall to the kitchen area seeing dad Aizawa mixing vodka and coffee into a thermos.

 "we need to get going in five" he says without looking at me as he focuses on his drink. 

Dad Mic will leave at 6:30 with Eri to drop her at her school then go off to work.

6:05, I grabbed my bag and we shouted a quick goodbye and headed to the car.

6:15, We arrive at the school and head to dads classroom, he shows me to my seat and I go straight there and sit down resting my head in my arms dozing off. I hadn't slept the night prior due to insomnia being a bitch and finishing my song so I could upload and work on something else.

6:30, I have not moved an inch since I sat down, instead I drifted into a light sleep. I heard the bell ring a few seconds ago and people talking along with kids entering into the classroom.Although one voice caught my attention most, It wasn't super loud but it was excited yet soft and soothing, I look up to the owner of said voice to be a small yellow haired boy.

"Dude did you see Brainwaves new music video?!?!" the blond said to a spiky red haired boy. 

"Kami your so obsessed with them chill out" said a weird looking pink alien girl coming up behind the blond.

 "first off they can S I N G, second with a voice like that they are probably also hot"

 I could feel heat rising to my face, that was a big assumption but this ray of sunshine will surely be disappointing when I do a face reveal.

"Hi! I'm Denki Kaminari! You must by Shinso Hitoshi the new student, yeah?" I snap out of my trance to see the sunflower in front of my desk smiling as he looks at me.

 "beautiful" I think to myself as I look at him,

 his eyes go a litter wide and his face turns bright red."sorry?" he said.

 SHIT I must have said that out loud! great going Shinso real fucking smooth. I clear my throat and look him dead in the eyes

 "that was supposed to stay in my head but I do admit you are an attractive guy"

 the sunflower was a red rose at this point as he looked at me shocked then covered his face with his hands and walked to his desk which happens to be just to the right of mine.

12:00, the bell rang signalling lunch was starting, I get up and go to the cafeteria. I grab an apple and take it back to the classroom to eat alone. As I approach the classroom I see dad at his desk talking the the sunflower, Kaminari was it? I'm not sure but he looked uneasy, just as I got to the classroom door I saw my dad hug the small boy. Weird dad hates touching people. as I got to my seat dad had pulled away and whispered something to the boy knowing I was in the room. The dandelion nodded and walked off to lunch.

"eating alone?" dad said eyeing me, "always do" I responded looking at my lyric notebook that i had took out.

 "you posted this morning" 

I couldn't respond, I didn't know how to without my voice cracking and breaking into tears so I simply nodded. 

Time goes slow

I put my earbuds in and click my newest video to look at comments and stuff

Loving and Fighting, accusing, denying

BEAUTIFUL!  -xXGalaxyGirl3Xx

I can't imagine a world with you gone

so much emotion. -Kobrakoffee

The joy and the chaos, the demons were made of

this is so sad but so good -Awildweeb

I'd be so lost if you left me alone
You locked yourself in the bathroom
Lying on the floor when I break through
I pull you and feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming please don't leave me?

the story unfolds itself so smoothly -DumbPikachu22

Hold on I still want you
Come back I still need you
Let me take you and I'll make you right
I swear I'll love you all my life
Hold on I still need you

wow -Imp2

Long in this hallway, silent beside me, driving a nightmare I can't escape from
Helpless and praying
The light isn't fading
Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones
They took you away on a table
I pace back and forth as you lay still
They pull you and feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming please don't leave me?

i can feel myself starting to tear up from the memories "I'm sorry" I whisper

Hold on I still want you
Come back I still need you
Let me take you and I'll make you right
I swear I'll love you all my life
Hold on I still need you
I don't wanna let go
I know I'm not that strong
I just wanna hear you say baby let's go home
Let's go home
Yeah I just wanna take you home
Hold on I still want you
Come back I still need you

at this point the song fades out and there's tears streaming down my face

Hold On- Chord Overstreet

(1093 Words)