Chapter 11

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I still remember my father's attitude. He was a nice man, a caring man even, but he started drinking when he lost his second job. He worked in an auto-mechanic shop fixing cars and trucks. He was never really good at what he did, but he wanted to prove a point to my mother. She had just started her internship at Agadore and this made him feel threatened.

A little part of me believed that he was afraid of looking weak compared to a woman, and he always held it against my mother.

My grandfather was a very traditional man, and when I met him for the first time, he told my mother was I had no meat on my muscles.

"The kid needs to eat some meat, Madeline. Do you feed him?" He would say every time he saw me. And every time my mother would nod her head and pull me away to the next room. She never liked my grandfather and would tell me that from time to time. I remember while she was getting the divorce, she told me that my father and his father are the same. They both degrade women to look better. She then told me to never ever treat a woman like that. To never degrade them to fill a spot in society. And I never have.

The day my father started drinking everything changed. He would always have a bottle of Jack Daniels, or Captain Morgan and would pass out on the sofa or the armchair.

One day when I was coming home from school, I saw him drinking one of the bottles while he watched one of his favorite action movies. My mother never liked me seeing him like this and would always shield me away, but that day she had to work late so I saw everything unfold before my eyes. He was in the middle of one of his very long swigs when him and I made eye contact. He finished his drink and set the bottle down on the table next to him and ushered me over.

"Boy, do you know what it's like to me a man?" He said in a slur.

I shook my head and he smiled.

"It means you're the head of the house, okay. It means you're in charge and nothing can take that away from you. It means that God knew you were a leader and put you on this earth to do just that." He says as he grabs the bottle from the table. "It also means that you can drink. Now, son, drinking is not bad, okay. It makes you feel good. Now your mother says drinking is bad for you, but if it's bad, why did God make it." He looks at me for a few seconds, searching for an answer, but I just stood there looking at him.

"Come here." He said as he patted his leg. I walked over and sat on his lap.

"That's my point son, drinking is not bad for you. In fact drinking helps the bad things go away. It helps daddy calm down from a long day at work."

He took a swig from the bottle and handed it to me. "Take a drink, it'll help you become a man."

I took the large bottle and read the top. 'Captain Morgan' and under it stands a man who looks like a pirate with one leg on a barrel of what I assume is alcohol. I looked at him and he nodded his head, and I raised the lip of the bottle to my mouth and lifted it.

The harsh liquid hit my tongue and I pulled the bottle away. The stuff was disgusting and it burned my throat and chest. I handed the bottle to him and rubbed my lips and tongue, trying to get rid of the taste. My father laughed as he puts the bottle to his mouth and takes yet another swig.

I get off of his lap and walked up to my room, rubbing the sleeve of my shirt on my tongue to get rid of the taste. My chest still burned as I sat on my bed coloring in one of my many coloring books. I heard the front door open and a few minutes later I heard the arguing.

My mother and father argued about him drinking and she was tired of coming home to him half drunk in the living room. She yelled that he changed and everything was different before, and he yelled back that it was not his fault. He yelled saying that his job was to blame, and that his bastard of a boss didn't care for him. She returned the yell saying that was work and that his is him home. She said he was affecting my home life, and he was. Ever since he started drinking my father and I spent less time together. I used to be his little buddy that he would do everything with, but them Jack or Morgan became his new buddy. She continued yelling at him saying he was setting up a bad example of what I man is like and that is when he slapped her. It was silent for about a minute and then she yelled saying she was going to stay at her sister's house and that she was going to take me with her.

She ran up the stairs and told me to pack some clothes, which I did and she carried me as we walked out the front door. As we left I saw my father sitting in the same chair finishing the bottle he had just been drinking. I watched as he just stared at us leaving. He gave no attempt of stopping us, or even asking how long she was going to be gone, he just sat on the couch and watched us leave. That is the moment I stopped caring about my father, because at that moment he stopped caring about me.

-

I blink and I am back in Williams car, in the back seat looking out the window to the dark neighborhood. I turn and Allison is asleep next to me, while William is in the front, quietly driving the car.

"Hey, Will, you okay?" I ask.

Started he turns back for a second looking at me then turning back to the front.

"You scared the shit out of me Josh, I thought you were asleep with Allison."

I chuckle at the thought of scaring him. "No, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"My father."

The car is quiet for a little bit. William and Allison both remember the day my mother left my father. They remember the divorce and the counseling that my mother believed that I needed. They both stood by me, and sometimes would spend the night at my house in an effort to distract me from my father. Though, the last time we talked about my father was in eighth grade. They stopped asking questions, and I stopped telling them things and we moved on. We never talked about him again, but he was always on my mind.

"I'm sorry to hear that," William says quietly.

"Why?" I ask, "I don't care about him. Don't be sorry for me. It happened."

I look up and make eye contact with William through the rearview mirror. He eyes are sad and all I can think is why? I turn and look out at the dark scene that passes me. Lights popping up in random places from far away houses or businesses. The road cuts through the rolling hills, unfazed by natures curves. Trees sprout in random places, but to nature it only makes sense. Then the first house appears, then the second and third until the car is surrounded by the quiet neighborhood of Mapple Hills.

We drop off Allison first. William pulls up in the stone brick driveway that compliments her red brick house. The large windows are surrounded with beautiful white borders and lined with red roses. A large tree stands in the front yard surrounded by white and red lilies, and trimmed bushes line the sidewalk along with the driveway.

I turn and look at Allison, who lies on my shoulder asleep. She looks peaceful, like nothing in the world could bother her. I look at her for a second before I slowly shake her shoulder. She opens her eyes slightly before she looks up as me and smiles.

"Hey," she says quietly as she whips her eyes and stretches. "Are we home?"

I nod my head and she gets up and opens the door. I cold breeze runs through the car as she walks out of the car. William walks out of the car and slowly walks Allison to her front door. I watch as they giggle and suddenly hold hands. Allison looks down at her hands and smiles before looking up and turning towards me. I dart my head down and turn on my phone to make it look like i was on my phone instead of looking at them. I continue to stare down at my phone when I hear the door open and William climbs into the car. He turns back and looks at me for a bit before gesturing to the front seat. I smile and climb out of the car and into the front seat. I look up and see Allison standing in the doorway waving at us as William backs out of the driveway and continue down the backroads towards my house. I sit quietly, looking out the window as every three seconds the street light illuminates the car with its yellow glow before it quickly fades and the car is dark.

I turn towards William who is focused on the road and the question repeats in my mind; How long have you and Allison been a thing? But everytime I think I'm going to ask him, I sit quietly and then turn towards the road. I hold in the question in all the way home afraid of what William will say or even react. I walk out of the car and towards my door and open it before turning around and waving at him. He waves back before his red car backs up and disappears into the dark. I turn around and walk into my dark living room and look towards the electronic clock that stands on mantle under the T.V. It reads 3:47 and I let out a loud sigh. I stretch for a second before I walk to my bedroom and remove my clothes and let my body fall to the bed with a bounce. I lie there looking at the ceiling recalling everything that happened in the bathroom. His smile. His posture. His kiss. Him. 

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