JOURNEY || JinKook ☑️

THIRTY ONE - DENIAL

Jin isn't talking much when we arrived at my apartment. I know he doesn't like what happened and perhaps, he's thinking that I did everything on purpose.

All the time on the road on our way here, his eyes were fixed on the outside. He will only talk or look back when Soobin asked him questions.

"Are you mad?" I ask as I followed him to the study room. Soobin is still in his bathroom taking a shower.

He looks at me, forces a smile but I know deep inside, he is loathing. "Why would I be mad? What did you do to make me mad?"

Right. Why did I even ask him that silly question? "I'm sorry about what Soobin did earlier. I mean, you should have not come if you're busy with your date." I stressed the last word so he would know that I'm talking about Namjoon.

Jin sits down on the edge of the study table and looks at me, smiling. "It's totally fine. Namjoon wouldn't mind. Besides, I think the earlier I start, the earlier I can go home."

"You'll meet your boyfriend again?"

He lets out a short bark of laughter. "Boyfriend? You mean Namjoon?"

"Why? Do you have another boyfriend other than Namjoon?" My mouth went dry. I wanted to swallow but my reflexes don't want it. I don't know why I'm scared to hear his answer. I began to chew my lower lip. I always do that whenever I'm feeling anxious.

Jin shifted in his seat. Adjusting himself further off the edge. He's now sitting completely on the study table. "Mr. Jeon, Namjoon isn't even courting me. Me being his boyfriend is totally impossible."

I am actually hoping for clarity about the real score between him and Namjoon but his answer makes me more confused. He is going out with Namjoon. He even mentioned about Namjoon giving him coffee and flowers. My thoughts just freeze.

"I really don't want to talk about this because this is not my issue. But since I am being dragged already, I guess I should address this to you.

Mr. Jeon, Namjoon and I are just friends. Honestly, I am expecting him to tell you about it but I don't know why he's still hesitant to tell you. The last time I asked, he told me that he's not yet sure whether Hoseok likes him too and he doesn't want you to know once he gets dumped.

It's true, he told me that he likes me but for some reason, he cannot pursue his feelings. Until now, I am puzzled by that reason. Not because I want him to court me whatsoever but because of that 'some reason' that he doesn't want to tell me.

Anyway, back to them. We are going out because he likes my friend Hoseok. I am too shy to admit but I am just third-wheeling. Not because I want it but because my friend Hoseok is not yet comfortable going out with your friend.

Lately, I can already feel the connection between them and truthfully, I am thankful that you left the other night and I needed to stay for Soobin and today, Soobin asked me to come with him. I want Namjoon and Hoseok to spend more time without me. Because honestly, I looked stupid watching them getting clingy.

Now that everything is clear, I hope you will stop insisting to me that I am tolerating Namjoon's working ethics and that I am in love with him because that's not the case. I hope I explained everything."

I paused to examine his face. I don't exactly know what to feel by what he just said. I am happy for Namjoon that at last, he finally found someone to get serious with. But I am distracted by Jin's glances.

The whole time he's talking about Namjoon and his friend, his eyes keep on glancing at my lips. I know I have that habit of chewing my lower lip or the insides of my cheeks or unconsciously licking my lips whenever I'm feeling anxious or agitated.

I tried licking my lower lip and I'm right, he watches how my tongue glides on my lip. His eyes slowly widening, his lips almost forming a pout and his fingers flickering. His eyes focus on that part of my face.

I continue doing my supposed to be habit and he, amusingly, keeps on watching it. He did not even notice that I'm already standing in front of him.

I stopped when my thighs hit his knees and he is probably back to his senses he blinks his eyes a couple of times before finally realizing how near I am to him.

A flush creeps across his cheeks. His mouth opens as if trying to say something but nothing comes out.

"When was the last time someone kissed you?"

His eyes opened wide. "W-what are you talking about?"

I leaned forward, purposely teasing him. He propped his hands on the table to support his weight as he started to lean back. "You keep on staring at my lips."

His eyes widened more. Perhaps, he realized that indeed, he's staring at it longer than he's supposed to.

I stared at his quivering lips and I wonder why it's only now that I realized how attractive his lips are. The outline is so gorgeous and it's so pink and plump. Leaning forward more, I'm not sure if it's only my reflexes working, my left-hand snakes on his waist while my right rests on the table, supporting both our weights. His hands grabbed my upper arms.

It's been a while since I last hold someone this close. Sure, I am paying for someone to satisfy my needs, but I never kiss any of them. Just sex. Plain sex. Nothing else.

Seokjin is so beautiful up close. He smells good too. Not the strawberry scent that I am used to with Ken but Jin smells sweet too. Not fruity but floral. His skin is so smooth and poreless. The faint tint of red still paints his pretty face. Too beautiful. Just too beautiful.

I lean in, his lips already parted. My heart starts to beat faster. Scared that he might hear it. My chest lightly painful and my stomach feels heavy. How can initiating a kiss be this stressful?

I closed my eyes when my lips touched his own. I'm glad he did not back out. His hands holding my arms tightly.

"Daddy?"

Both our eyes shot open. Soobin. I quickly removed my hold on his waist and the next thing I heard, a thud and Jin groaned.

"Oh shi--- Jin, I'm sorry."

Jin's eyes are closed and he's holding the back of his head. He fell on the table and hit his head.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I uttered as I help him sit down. He went back to his feet. His hand rubbing the back of his head.

"Are you okay Teacher Jinnie?" Soobin looks worried as his eyes looking back and forth on me and Jin.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine." Jin stutters and smiles.

"Are you kissing Teacher Jinnie, daddy?"

Jin and I look at each other. I've never been this nervous in front of my child. And Jin shifts his gaze to Soobin.

"No, Binnie. Your father is blowing dirt out of my eyes. That's what you saw." Jin grinned, pulling Soobin to sit on a chair. "Let's start? Pull out your books. I need to go home early today."

I went out of the room immediately to avoid Soobin's curiosity. He still looking at me as if he wants to ask more questions.

I went straight to my bedroom to shower but Ken's picture caught my eyes. I don't know why I can't look at him. It feels weird. Guilt creeping inside me. I know this is what he wanted. I'm not sure if what I did was right. I don't like Jin. I don't.

Or I'm just denying that I do?