Rants And Thoughts (That_Nerdy_Gurl)

5) (Warning, Cursing!)

Somehow I Always Fucking Mess Up. I Always Fucking Mess Up. I Just Lost A Friend. And She's Pissed Off At Me. Because I Was Mad At Her, For A Fucking Title. I Always Loose Friends Because I Do The Smallest Fucking Stupid Things! I Always Mess Up! I Should Be Used To This, People Always Run Away From Me Like Cowards. Tell My Friends To Stay Away From Me, Then I Have To Start From Scratch. I Don't Wanna Start From Scratch. I Don't Wanna Start At All. I'm Messing Up My Life! I Have The Worst Fucking Grades EVER, I'm Loosing Friends, I Have No Social Life, I'm Nothing. I Have Nothing To Do! No Friends To Talk To, No Grades To Be Happy About! I Quit The Band I Was Going To Be In With My Friend. I Was Being A Bitch, And I Feel Horrible. It's Only Because I Feel Writing Is The Only Thing I'm Actually Good At, I'm Not Even Good At Writing. We Went Separate Ways, We Were Writing A Book And She Felt Like I Was Writing All Of It. So We Left, We Had An Arguement About Who Was Gonna Keep The Idea, Title, All That Stuff. I'm Messing Up Everything, And I Was Being A Complete Bitch And I Feel Horrible! I'm Not Even Gonna Do Anything, Just Homework And Improve Everything. Who Needs Friends...Right...? I Mean...Now I Can Study? Actually Get Work Done, Maybe. She's Never Going To Forgive Me. You Wanna Know WHY I Know I Was A Bitch? She Came Up To Me And I Walked Away From Her. Ignored Her The Rest Of The Day. It's All My Fault. I Made A Dumb Mistake. Everyone I Know Is Fucking Right. I'm Dumb.

I Used To Have A Friend When I Was 5...We Were Friends For About 5 Years. Best Friends. One Day This New Kid Came...He Was Nice And Shy At First. Then He Started Being Super Rude To Me, Called Me Dumb, Fat, And This Was When We Were 10. She Hung Out With Him More Than Me, And It Bugged Me. One Day, We Were Tossing A Frisbee And She Told Me "Michael's Hanging Out With Peter A Lot. They Never Hang Out With Me Anymore, I Feel Left Out." I Wanted To Scream At Her And Tell Her You Did The Same. You Know How I Feel. We Were At Peter's Party, Her And Michael Went In His House Without Permission. Locked Me Out, I Told Them I Had To Go To The Bathroom. The Door Is Wooden, I Hear Them Making Fun Of Me. Laughing So Hard, And Even The Guests' Older Brother Was Laughing With Them. At Me. Our Friendship Ended. I Lost All My Friends, Next Year I Found 2 New Ones. I Just Lost One Of Two.

I'm Scared, I'm Honestly-There's Nothing. I'm Just Going To Do Homework Now. Sorry For The Massive Cursing, But I'm Just Really Stressed At Mad. I'll Talk To You Guys Later...Have A Good Day, Take Care.

~Kaelyn

(12/3/12)