If I Fell - Grey's Anatomy

II.

 It had been two weeks since Alex told George about his failing of the medical boards, and since he agreed to tutor him. The day after his "confession", George had given his phone number away so they could figure out the details of time and place. Which is how he found himself now driving his car to a banged-up-looking building on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturday nights. 

It didn't exactly help with his paranoia about city thieves.

Still, it had to be Alex's apartment because George lived with Izzie and Meredith, and though he and Alex tolerated each other, they've never been the best of friends, so them suddenly spending time together would not go unnoticed.

The first time George was actually inside Alex's apartment, he was quite surprised to find that it was tidy, clean, and well-decorated. Except for his mildly messy bedroom, which had some books and clothes thrown around, it was a very nice place, especially considering that the rest of the building was littered with trash and cigarette butts.

("The secret to having a tidy place, O'Malley, is to put all your crap in one room." Alex had later said.)

They studied in the living room, which—unsurprisingly—had a large collection of rock'n'roll records and CDs shelved neatly, a turntable, and some speakers. George was more of a jazz listener, but he thought Alex's personality suited the genre somehow. He turned away from the shelves before Alex could tell he was studying them, and sat down on the grey linen couch beside the window.

"So, what part of the medical boards did you fail, exactly? I'll assume you failed the USMLE Step 2, so was it the - uhh - Clinical Knowledge or Clinical Skills?" George fidgeted, scratching his head.

"Yeah. It was Step 2, Clinical Skills," Alex said, "I took my boards later than most of the others, so the results are just coming out now. I failed the clinical encounters and passed the other two."

Alex seemed more welcoming and friendly, but there was still an air of reluctance behind his words, like he was forcing himself for an explanation, even though he didn't really want to elaborate. So, instead of asking more, George pushed down the urge to pry, and opted for a safer question.

"Why do you think you failed?"

"Clinical Knowledge was fine, cause it was just a written exam, you know? But for Skills, it's more about diagnosing patients quickly, being prepared for trauma, where a split decision can... end someone's life. Encountering those patients just made it seem more real, and I panicked, I guess. I've never been good at that kind of stuff." Alex responded even more reluctantly.

"I get it," George coughed nervously, caught off-guard by the sudden depth of their conversation, "We can go to the library and get some books on how to improve your diagnosis time. Or we can find tons of past cases from the hospital, and I'll quiz you. Oh—or I can dig up some studying notes I made for when I took the clinical skills exam..."

He kept on rambling, the words becoming faster and faster, until Karev finally interrupted: "Woah, woah, slow down, O'Malley. We're supposed to be studying together, so how about having a two-part conversation instead?"

Despite Alex's light tone, the words hit a nerve, and George flushed with embarrassment, his ears growing red. The usual feeling of anxiety and inadequacy and the memories of failed attempts at conversation came rushing into his mind. He forced himself to push them down, trying to stay in the present.

"Sorry... I'm just nervous, I guess, and when I'm nervous, I ramble." George finally said.

"Why? You're not the one who failed your boards, Bambi."

There was a pause.

"Alex, you haven't exactly treated me like a saint in the past. Whenever you talk to me, I get magically transported back to 1998, when I was getting called a fairy by other boys my age. I don't care about the gay jokes because it's perfectly fine to be gay, but being around you is like being around a high school bully." George said, telling a half truth. (The other half was simply that he was a little skittish whenever Alex was around. He didn't know why, and he was definitely not going to bring it up.)

"Look, I'm sorry... George," Alex paused, growing guilty, "I know I constantly treated you like crap, and that's shitty of me to do, especially since you're the only one helping me now. I guess I was jealous of how close you were with Izzie, which doesn't excuse the fact, of course."

"It's fine, Alex—let's just start studying now." George said quietly, managing an uncomfortable smile.

After some more uncomfortable discussion, the two decided to study together by making up a game. George would act as a patient, listing off symptoms and conditions, and have Alex make the correct diagnosis, since he failed the Clinical Skills part of the boards. Then George left Alex's apartment, finally able to relax with some coffee, at the end of a long day.

For the next few sessions, they talked to each other more easily. George was still somewhat scared—what if he said or did something awkward? It would mess up their already fragile bond, if it could even be called that. Which would probably end up upsetting Izzie if she found out, he told himself.

But after a few rounds of the game they made up, the nervousness and anxiety melted away. Alex got the hang of it fast, which made George suspect he had been downplaying his intelligence; he really wasn't that bad at the diagnosing, he just needed to work on his timing to pass the exam. George found that the other intern was quick to apologise, despite being brash and careless at the hospital. Often, Alex would audibly groan when he didn't make the correct guess, which made George cackle, for lack of a better word. It was just so hilarious to see Alex Karev pout over mere medical questions.

Weeks went by, and Alex really started to know his stuff, so they'd sometimes goof around or switch roles in their game, just for fun. George had to search for more obscure diseases for the next two or three times they studied together, which actually made the process exciting. They even gave personalities to the patients they made up, like an Irish farmer with a ridiculous accent, which was Alex making fun of George's name, though he didn't really mind.

It was easy to talk to Alex.

Their dynamic at work changed as well, the atmosphere growing warmer, even though they weren't yet friends. They would simply crack little jokes when they passed each other in the hallway, where insults would've flown in the past. George found himself looking forward to the sleepless nights.

George thought about their newfound bond from time to time, and the sentiment always brought a smile to his lips. As he was leaving Alex's apartment on a Saturday night, getting ready to relax with a cup of coffee, it occurred to him that he might have been wrong after all—he was starting to like Alex just a tiny bit.

~

Author's Note: If anyone is confused, there are three steps to the medical boards exam, or the USMLE, that all American med students have to pass in order to practice as physicians. Step 2 is mostly taken during the final year of med school, and is also split into two parts: clinical knowledge(CK) and clinical skills(CS). 

Alex failed the clinical skills portion, specifically, because that part tests skills with diagnosis. I suspect that's also why the other interns helped Alex study by pretending to be patients. You can check it for yourself in episode 02x04, when Webber talks to Alex about his boards.

Sorry for the long awaited update!! I know you readers have been patient, especially since this was not new content, but I really am much happier with this edit. I already have Chapter 3 edited and ready to go though, so a new chapter will be coming very soon. Stay tuned <33

—Christine