Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Zaroon 02 July

Kashaf ki pata nahi kya masrufiat chal rahi hai. Jaise mere wapas jaane ke din qareeb arahe hai mujhe to aisa lag raha hai use koi dilchaspi hi nahi hai mere ghar ajane me. Mere teen chaar baar call karne par mohtarma ek bar respond karti hai. Kahi use akele rehne me hi maza to nahi araha? Ajeeb ladki hai jab main ja raha tha to wo mujhse khafa baithi thi. Par tab ki toh samajh ati hai mujhe par ab? Ab to use aur excited hona chahiye. Pata nahi kin kamon me masroof hai. Office ka load itna kuch khas hai nahi, malum karwaya tha maine. Aur Sidra- Zaheer ke masle bhi abhi kuch aise nahi horahe ki wo usme masroof rahe.

Kahi yeh mujhse khafa hokar to nahi baithi?    Par maine to filhal aisa kuch nahi kiya ki wo naraz hokar baith jaye. Kya wo Pamella ki baat lekar abhi tak khafa baithi hai? Kuch teen chaar roz pehle usne mujhe call kiya tha to loud music ke wajah se humari baat nahi ho payi thi.  Darasal ek party rakhi thi ek colleague ne apne ghar me. Kaafi logon ko  bulaya tha jisme main aur Pamella bhi the. Aisi parties ka to log jante hi hai. Late night tak chalti hai aur har tarah ke ladke ladkiyan hote hai. Jab tak main ghar wapas ayi to kafi late hogya tha. Jab main kashaf ko call par explain karne ki koshish kar raha tha ki yeh party me jana meri ek majburi thi to usne kaha

'Maine tumse pucha kya ki tum kaha gaye the aur kiske saath gaye the? Kisi Prerna ya kisi Pamella ke saath? Tum ek responsible admi ho aur main yeh khayal rakhti hoon ki tum mere trust ko kabhi nahi todoge.'

Iske baad humari is kisse par aur baat nahi huyi. Tab maine bhi socha ki usne bura nahi
manaya aur use casually liya par biwiyan aisi baatein kaha let go karti hai? Abhi to wo mujhe khul kar keh nahi rahi par ghar jate hi shayad meri shamat aye. Ya Allah kuch aisa karna ki Kashaf mujhe dekhte hai meri galtiyon ko dafa kare. Phir se rotiyan banane ka shauk bilkul nahi mujhe.