A long time when I was little I had a godfather he was everything to me used to babysit me he was always there for me even his wife. years one passed but one day he showed up at our doorstep really sick... we let him stay but he got more sick it started affecting me I wanted it to be gone I didn't want to deal with it so I shot him out but months went by I got a call... He died... that was the biggest fall in my life I don't know what to do oh I did do though was blaming myself he was so sick though I couldn't be my fault but I kept on thinking about it I couldn't stop then I got so numb I started isolated myself I started smoking drinking being a bully I couldn't handle anything anymore every little thing was set me off so I try to borrow it all down it didn't help though I kept on thinking that was my fault then one day I burnt myself on accident but I liked it so I did it again and again and again... But burnin want to cutting I tried to hide the marks with a hoodie but someone saw them I push them away I didn't understand.I felt so lonely but I didn't want to talk to no one I was scared then something happened I heard voices saying it's my fault then I start seeing shadows then they were pointing at me saying it was my fault I didn't know what they were talking about but I realized they were talking about my uncle my godfather I buried it so far down that they start sewing at the surface then I thought it wasn't my fault I needed help I need to start talking to people it was so hard though that wasn't a rest of it though. I want to mental hospitals therapy got put on pills I didn't want to take him anymore I was on so many it scared me so I stopped taking them I told the doctors I was alright but I wasn't I was battling my own war that I was losing at. I start escalating again I felt so alone no one understood I thought then I met someone someone that that actually cared and I understand I wasn't the only person going through this stuff so I got this help I needed I was scared but I did it I'm still going through it though depression is a disease you get up when you're at the weakest take out someone that knows.
