Could you ever love me again?

With out her

When I wake up in the hospital bed my eyes were blinded by the bright lights. My dad walked in and opened the curtains not noticing I was awake. He stared at the sky like he did when my grandmother died. I was only 5 at the time but I can remember him coming down the stairs and looking out the window until he had to leave for work and take me to school. One day I asked him why he looked out the window and he said he needed a miracle. Eventually he stopped looking into the sky but every now and then I caught him looking at the sky. It felt like he had been staring at the sky for hours but it had only been minutes.

When he finally turned around he looked as if he might cry. He came and sat in the chair next to my bed. I noticed his eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying. "hey munch, how ya feeling?" "My head hurts  a little but other than that I feel fine." I answered him. I tried to adjust my body to face him more but my back and legs stung. "ow!" "be careful, you got cut pretty bad." "yea. it only stings a little though."

I looked around my room in search of my mom. "Wheres mom? Is she in a different room?" He stared at his feet and I could tell he was trying not to cry. "What's wrong? Is she okay?" He shook his head and couldn't fight the tears anymore. He started off soft crying but it turned more into a sob. I tried to think of what could have  happened to make my dad cry like  this. Only one thing came to mind.

"Dont tell me she-, no, She couldn't have. Please tell me I'm wrong." I started tearing too, praying that I'm wrong. He didnt answer so I spoke again. "No, that can't be. When I passed out in the ambulance she was alive. She was crying in pain but she was alive, I could hear her yelling for me. She was trying to talk to me telling me its gonna be okay." He finally looked up at me with tears running down his face. "She died after they took you away." He finally said. We stared Into each others eyes and then he came close to me and hugged me. It was the longest I had hugged him in a while.

The next couple of weeks I spent healing my scars and my mild concussion. One day the doctors said they wanted to run some tests on me  to make sure there wouldn't be any problems in the future. They said after I would be free to leave and start Senoir year normally. one test in particular was very hard for me. It was the hearing test. When I heard voices I was supposed to raise my hand. On the last voice it was a women saying "hello darling, what's your name?" It sounded just like my mother. When I heard it I freaked, I pushed the headphones off and started crying. I wouldn't even call it crying more like sobbing. My dad ran up to me and calmed me but he wasn't what I needed. Only one person could cheer me up at times like these. But she was  on vacations with her family for summer. She offered me to come but I said no. I really wish I had said yes now.

When all the tests where done me and my dad started to leave. A nurse was talking to my dad about my check ups for the next couple weeks just to be on the safe side. She walked us to the door and as we walked out she said "I'm so sorry about your lost, she was very sweet when she came in for check ups." "Thank you." I said in a low voice. When people said that to me it just showed me how real it was.  It felt like I was in denial or a dream, but hearing people say that just made me realize this was real life.

We got to the car and got in. Tears started rolling down my face and I tried to control them but couldnt. "Is this how its gonna be? People telling me how sorry they are and me wanting to break down each time anyone even mentions her?!" I asked once we were in the car " No munch, I know it hurts right now but it will get better. I promise." Ny dad reassured me. I didnt even wanna think about the future and how many more times I would have to listen to people say theycare sorry  "Can we go get ice cream?" I asked semi smiling trying to get rid of the sad vibes in the car. "yess, I thought you'd never ask!" We laughed and drove to the icecream parlor.

On our way home I looked out the window. Trying to figure out how to adjust my life now. We stopped at a red light and turned right when no one was coming. As we turned I start to remember the bright light in my eyes last time I took this turn. I freak out and yelled "Watch out mom!" My dad stopped the car in the middle of the road and came to my side. He opened my door and pulled me in for a hug as I start crying into his shoulder. He tried to calm me by  petting my head and talking to me. "Its okay, it's okay I'm here." Cars started honking at us but I didnt realize, the only thing I can think of is my mother. One woman got out to make sure I was okay. "I'm so sorry ma'am, she was just in a terrible accident and got flash backs when I turned the corner." "As long as shes okay, I'm so sorry dear." I left my dads shoulder and thanked her. "Are you okay munch?" "I'm fine, I'm sorry." "Dont be." He got up and walked back to his car holding up his hand to say sorry to the other cars. He took the long way home which had less turns.

A/N: The picture up top is what I imagine Emilia to look like but you can make her look how ever you want :)