Everlasting Part Two

I'm in Chaos

I think that I have spent more time in the last month staring at the ceiling than eating, bathing, and even sleeping. I was lying on the bed in mine and Deidara's room, the sheets still smelled like him. My mind was numb, empty. I had spent so much time replaying his death over and over in my head that I think my brain was finally tired from the torture and I felt nothingness. Tears no longer took their course down my face. But my heart wouldn't stop hurting.

It felt as if someone took a rolling pin and stretched me out as far as I could go. That a flimsy piece of flesh was all that remained of my pathetic existence.

Everyone I ever cared about either left or was destroyed because of me.

I was a monster.
No.
I am a monster.
I almost forgot about that when I met Deidara...his death would serve as a constant reminder that the only companion I will ever have is the monster inside me.

It has been a year since the tragedy, we held a small funeral. No one really cared about him as a person, but they knew they lost a powerful member. I was stupid to think this place could ever be my home. They were all monsters like me, who truly cared for no one, but themselves. But it was too late now, I was just like them. A killer. A criminal. I could never go home. I could never have a normal life again.

Three knocks sounded at the door. It was Tobi, he wasn't as excited as usual. Well at least around me, I don't think he cared much for Deidara but he seemed to be aware of my grieving.
"Mia-Senpai, leader has called for us to have a meeting with him."

I moaned, eyes still glued to the ceiling. "Okay." I got up slowly and glanced at myself in the mirror. My skin was pale, my hair a tangled mess. My collarbone was slightly more defined than what I assumed was healthy. I had really let myself go.

Pein was a hologram, as usual. According to Itachi and Kisame leader was hidden somewhere in the land hidden in the rain. What a dreary place to live.

"Mia, Tobi, I have a very special assignment for you two."

I nodded.

"Yay, Mia-Senpai and Tobi haven't had a mission in a long time!" Tobi exclaimed. His intense energy still wore me out.

"You two are to go retrieve a very crucial person for our organization from Konoha."

"Another Jinchuriki?" Tobi asked.

"No, even more important." Pein's face was stone cold serious.

What in the world could be more important to him than collecting Jinchuriki?
I remained silent.

"I will have Konan bring you her information tomorrow morning before you two set out."

Another female huh? Right now the only girls in Akatsuki were Konan and I and she was always with leader, I've only seen her a number of times. I guess it might be nice to have another girl around.

"Tobi you are dismissed," Pein eyed me intensely, "Mia I want to talk to you."

Oh great.
Tobi left, surprisingly, without making a scene. Or even saying something along the lines of "Ooooo Mia-Senpai's in trouble!" Which is what I expected, but was relieved to go without.

"Mia, I know that you are still sad about the loss of your former partner. But it has been a year, this will be your second mission since then, I've given you a long time to grieve."

I nodded, facing the floor, it wasn't like I wanted to be sad still.

Peins voice got a little more serious, "I don't want a repeat with the mission you went on 6 months ago. This capture is crucial for us. You are one of our best, now start acting like it"
Ouch. He was being a little harsh, but sadly he was right. I know that I need to put my abilities to use again. It'll probably be good for me to actually go out and do something too, sitting around isn't working wonders on my mental health.

I looked up at his hologram, our eyes locking. His rinnegan intimidating.
"Yes Pein-sama. I understand." My voice came out more monotone than I meant it to.