Too much.
So much love but I never felt it,
So much emotion, but I never dealt it,
Kept it all inside where is festered and grew,
Turnin’ me into an evil monster,
The ones around me were all deceived,
The mask I wore was what they chose to believe,
My family would never know,
That the emotion I chose to show,
Wasn’t real I couldn’t feel,
All their emotion which was real,
I thought I could do this on my own,
But was confused by what I was shown,
My mates could never know,
The real me, it would blow,
Their minds really could not handle,
My life which was in a shamble,
I followed like a sheep and wore a smile,
Changing it like it was on a dial,
My only release was when I wrote,
But I really don’t want to gloat,
Sometimes I just sat down to cry,
Occasionally wishing I would die,
But I knew it could not be granted,
Cause once an idea is implanted,
It takes forever to be disposed of,
It would destroy the ones I love,
Even if I did I want applause,
And everyone to continue on because,
It would be what I wanted,
And I do not want to be taunted,
Just for how I feel,
Because these feelings are real,
Even if they couldn’t be seen,
My slate was still not clean,
It was damaged, it was chipped,
I decided it needed to be flipped,
I should start over again and let it go,
All my grudges would not show,
I did not want to conform,
So what I did was reform,
The idea of who I was,
Couldn’t be recognised because,
The thing that I changed,
People thought were deranged,
But they didn’t understand,
The problem that was at hand,
I felt alone when I was surrounded,
All my thought were just shrouded,
In feelings of despair,
Cause no one is aware,
That I feel this life should end,
I don’t want to pretend,
Everything is alright,
Even though I cry at night,
No one sees the tears that fall,
There is no one I can call,
Without feeling that I’m stupid,
I have been struck by Cupid,
But I just get ignored,
So my feelings for him get stored,
I want to just give up,
Permanently shut myself up,
There will be no turning back,
I’ll end up in a sack,
Carried from my home,
But really I’ll walk out,
I don’t want them to shout,
I’ll be somewhere painless,
My sadness is not aimless
I just thought I’d let you know,
That my feelings are for show,
I don’t want your pity,
And no, my life’s not shitty,
I just have these feelings,
That really needs revealing,
Please do not cry,
Just because I want to die.
