Writers block

Wish you luck

I want to start this by saying how I was inspired with pictures I saw that triggered the memories I blocked out from the past..
   
I don't know how to explain this, I never really thought about everything. But I know that this will never change anything about how I feel now and how I'll feel 20 min after I write this out. But looking back to how everything was then makes me  a little sad how close to where we once were. And to have it all ruined in a split second over choices we made for ourselves. The nights we stayed up late telling each other stories and making new memories when we were high. The nights we thought we were drunk off of one can of beer. The weekend sleepovers we had together. How we could have fixed it but some time space away from another changes people and no one can fix that.

I don't want to be friends. I've tried being civil and that fixed nothing. I don't want to be able to contact you or have you contact me or to even catch up. But for us to just once think about everything and keep moving forward with our lives as we have been for the past three years apart from one another.
I got my drivers license last year and got myself a car on my own. As a person I've grown up a lot more than who you met in high school.
And I'm sure you've done a lot more things without me being around in your life.
    I'm not trying to brag about how better my life is or if your life is better than mine. It's just some goals I've accomplished without you that could have been done with you if things were different and if we had met later in life than sooner.

Because now I can express who I am as a person without feeling like someone will tear me down whether they mean to or not. And I'm sure you are thinking the same thing or feeling the same thing I'm thinking just looking at life differently.
    I no longer have the desire to want to kill myself as stronger as I use to. In fact the only time I want to kill myself is when I'm doing something stupid and I just casually say it as a joke. I'm not sure if you understand what I mean by that but it's the best way I can explain it.

But over all the point of this passage is for you to see that if we are adults we can overcome the struggles without one another and can grow as a better person than the ones we once were when we first met.

I wish nothing but the best for you.

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This is for the person who might read this and they know who they are. I know I haven't written anything in months and it's been hard for me to. I've been writing passage after passage that I don't finish because I don't have a proper way to end things. But I started to write this less than an hour ago and feel that this was probably the best way I can sign off a goodbye to a friendship. Even though we both no longer speak to one another and probably don't have the desire to do so. This was the next best thing. We never actually said goodbye to those memories just deleted them from our phones. And not everyone is able to say goodbye to something that once was good and pure that ended badly for one another.

But again I do hope anyone reading this enjoys and understands that we as humans grow in our own ways and when the time comes we can speak out about everything.