ENTER NAME.
You cannot enter her name!!! It was already engraved in her HONORARY PLACRONYM on her 13th birthday, which was about three and a half years ago, and has been sitting here neatly on the bookshelf ever since. Attempting to engrave it with another name after completing this sacred rite of passage is practically unheard of, and is a gesture nearly as offensive as it would be if you tried to name her something dumb like 'STUPID IDIOTFACE'
Anyway, Your name is Y/N Crocker. You live with your sister JANE. You are the older one, you are 16 YEARS OLD. You have a Huge crush on your Best Friend, Jake English. Your PesterChum user is "golgothasTerror2", witch Jake pestered you to make it.
READER, SWITCH POVS.
ENTER NAME.
Once again, you make the incalculable blunder of attempting to engrave an already allocated placronym. His name was etched when he turned 13 too, almost 3 years ago. It's been sitting here messily in this UNBELIEVABLY DEADLY PILE OF GUNS ever since. What sort of vulgar, childish moniker were you going to stick this poor bastard with? Barfbreath Turdsmirk? It doesn't even matter. Just tell him what to do!
Your name is JAKE. You love movies. ALL MOVIES. You would describe your taste in film as ECLECTIC, but in truth, it isn't much less than TOTALLY INDISCRIMINATE. You bluster frequently of exuberance for FIREARMS and FISTICUFFS and ADVENTURE, though have no human company with which to share these interests. But who needs chums, Oh wait! Y/N! Oh yes, Y/N, She shares your love of adventure and Movies, you love her too, in a romantic way, yet shes shown NO ROMANTIC FEELINGS BACK! golly gee. Your PesterChum is "golgothasTerror" you pestered your best friend Y/N to get a matching one! Witch she did!
End of EPILOGUE.
