THE TRUTH ABOUT THE CORONA VIRUS: Millar Lite X Corona Beer

Revenge Served Crisp

The coronavirus was started on purpose by the CEO of Molson Coors, commonly known for it's production of Millar Lite, Gavin Hattersley. But why would Gavin bring this about on the world? The answer is simple, revenge on his rival CEO and ex-lover Carlos Brito of AB InBev, known for Corona beer. When they were young men their relationship, was known of those of close friends, but what some sources say confirms our suspicion that Gavin and Carlos were secretly lovers. That is until the summer of 1985 where Carlos broke off the affair leaving Gavin Crushed.

During the Molson Coors 2016 expansion they came face to face once more, although they were each much older now, married with kids even, but alas Gavin still loved him all the same and even told Carlos so say sources. But Carlos, despite his obvious feelings rebuffed him, he could never indulge their love, it would ruin everything he built. This begins Gavin's plot for revenge, if Gavin couldn't have Carlos, he would bend the company to it's knees until Carlos relented.

The year is 2020, Gavin sends an associate to China with a briefcase claiming the contents are a new recipe for a proposed chain of drinks. The real contents? The coronavirus itself. Now Gavin walks happily through stores watching the shelves as no one dares to grab a case of Corona beer. The stocks for the company are plummeting, Gavin is winning. His phone rings, its Carlos. He agrees to meet, discuss terms,

"but Carlos," says Gavin, reports confirm, "the terms are simple, you come back to me. Where you belong.". The line is silent, Carlos curses over the line and hangs up. Gavin puts his cell back in his jean pocket, unbothered. He knows he'll call again.

Carlos calls 2 weeks later, "Gavin this is getting out of hand, people are dying." He pleads.

Gavin shrugs as he answers, "I've waited decades for you to come back to me Carlos, what makes you think that matters to me?"

Carlos is flustered, he thinks Gavin is being unreasonable. He purposes drinks to discuss this further. Gavin accepts, "You do know the bars are closed? I'll send a helicopter." This time he hangs up first.

The helicopter lands on the helipad in the back of Gavin's estate, the house is empty except them two, his wife thinks he has the virus. The talks go slow, Carlos seems unwilling to relent his heart to Gavin, but his eyes go soft when Gavin touches his knee, the butler confirms. Gavin tells Carlos there's a cure, that he'll release it if Carlos agrees to finally come back to him. At this point Carlos had only inferred its existence, he could save the world.

"All you have to do is love me." Gavin insists, he goes to kiss him.

Carlos jumps up right, shattering a perfect craft beer glass. "Gavin I'm married!" He yells.

"But you don't love her." Gavin pries. The look on Carlos's face confirming the truth says the butler.

"I, I have to go." Carlos mutters to himself, leaving quickly out the back door onto the lawn. The butler confirms the cure is real, only Carlos can save us all he yells into the phone to our reporters.