Behind Closed Doors (A Tayga Fanfiction)

Chapter 1

Winter is well on its way here in New York. The cold is already starting to become unbearable and the trees are now bare; there is no sign of a single leaf on the ground. Thank God the snow storms haven't started yet, but it's just a matter of time before they're upon us. I step away from the window of my apartment and head toward the kitchen to put my coffee cup in the sink. As I look back up I see a picture of my family. Well, what used to be my family. Taylor and I have been divorced for just over three years, and it's been everything but easy.

Touring and going to the studio has really helped me cope with it however. So has seeing my fans. Keeping busy lets me take my mind off these things when I need it, but it also makes it more difficult for me to see my babies. Usually Taylor and I rotate. Two weeks with one of us and two weeks with the other. But if one of us is gone for work for a really long time, they'll stay with the other parent. Ava, our adopted daughter, tags along on tour sometimes, and she really enjoys being around a bunch of people who love her. But Joseph's not really into it. I know it's not that he resents me or anything, he's just never been a fan of constantly moving around. Sometimes it's even a little tough walking outside with the loud paparazzi constantly wanting a picture. Fortunately, the little monsters don't really bug him. They're usually quite casual and friendly with him, which he likes.

My mind begins to wander as I look back at that picture I have by my sink, and I think back to that day.
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"What do you guys wanna do next," Tay asks a ten year old Ava and a six year old Joey.

"I wanna do this ride daddy," our son answers, pointing to a ride on the map. "Me too," Ava joins in. They love amusement parks, and they're so brave. They get really excited when they find a roller-coaster on the map. Those are always their favourite.

"Wow, that's a big ride. We have to see if you kids are tall enough." So we all walk to this roller-coaster together, Joey's obviously getting a piggyback ride from Taylor. I begin to giggle at the sight of it. Taylor's such an amazing father. He's so enthusiastic and he really likes to have fun with our children. He kind of turns into a kid himself, and they have a lot of fun with him too.

As we stop in front of it, I start shaking a bit. I mean I'm usually really good with rides, but this one looks like it's too much. Why these crazy little munchkins have their hearts set on this one I will never know. I also have no idea how they're even tall enough to go on it. As I keep looking up at it I feel two warm and gentle arms wrap around me, and soft lips pressing against my neck.

"Are you scared babe?" I turn around to see Taylor making an effort not to laugh. I blush and I sort of giggle before I answer him. "Well Tay, look at it it's monstrous. I'm not sure about this one." My answer immediately triggers a reaction in the kids. They turn around in shock and disappointment since I usually do everything with them, and run up to me.

"Please mommy, please come with us? It'll be okay. Pleeeeeaase?" Their pleading must be one of the cutest things about them. They both look up at me with these really big sad eyes as I try to make a decision. Their little faces melt my heart though, especially Joseph's. He always had this cute little baby face that gets the best of me. Not to mention Ava has these huge green eyes with these really thick eyelashes that she bats to get what she wants. I laugh at how adorable they are and give in.

"Alright. I'll do it for you guys." In mid sentence the two of them squeal in excitement and jump on me for a hug, making me laugh harder. I love seeing them happy. It makes me feel so wonderful inside. I wrap one arm around each as they both put their arms around my neck, and I kiss their cheeks before letting them go. The kids bolt to the line and Taylor takes my hand as I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my other hand around his arm. Then he presses his lips onto mine.

"You're sure you wanna do this one? I won't judge you if you don't," he says to me.

"Yeah, I'm sure. It's for the kids," I answer.

"You're such an amazing mom." That makes me smile, and even blush.

"Well you're an amazing dad, and the perfect husband. I love you."
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Divorce will physically pull you apart but never mentally or emotionally. No amount of years of separation will ever make you get over your former lover. And I know that because every time I look at that picture by my sink, long enough for me to reminisce of that happy day we spent together, I cry. I just lean over my counter and cry. And that's exactly what's happening now. I'm leaned over the counter with my hand on my face, crying my heart out. I don't even try to stop myself since I'm alone in the apartment. But I don't wanna be alone. I want Taylor here, I miss him, and that's not even the worst part of it. I still love him.

I don't even understand how we drifted apart. Just randomly, he came home enraged and started fighting with me, I don't even remember why, all I remember is it got really intense, and he barged out of the apartment. The next day I woke up and he wasn't there, and the morning after that, his stuff was gone, and then it hit me. He left. The next thing I know there are divorce filings and rumours flying about me and Taylor.

Despite that whole situation, Taylor and I agreed to be friends. He offered to put that night past us and just move on, to which I agreed. Fighting one another and acting like enemies wouldn't be fair to our children. Plus, like I said, I still love him. Even if he doesn't know that or love me in return.

I notice my eye makeup's beginning to smudge and I hear a knock at the door. The tears immediately stop and I quickly dab some more makeup on my eyes and clean myself up. I hear the knocking again and I smile. They're here.

So, yes I started a new fic. I need just a small break from I'm Beautiful in My Way. Don't hate me for that, I won't abandon the story and my break probably won't be that long, but it is needed. I know this isn't a very strong beginning, not much action in this chapter, mostly explaining but I'll work hard to make sure this story is as action packed as possible in future chapters. Ya I changed the age difference between the kids. I don't really know why, I guess just preference. Idk I'm weird like that
Guys, these Cheek to Cheek dates are coming out so fast I don't even know what's happening. All I know is the second Montreal comes out (if there's a date for it) I'll scream.
Howard Stern interview is bringing me to tears. Poor little angel. I had a feeling she went through this kinda stuff but hearing her say it tore my heart to shreds. That tree lighting brought tears of joy though. Her vocals were on point and she looked so beautiful. Slay!
I hope you guys have been having a great week so far. You guys are so amazing. I just saw my other fic got 400 reads, which I really didn't expect so thanks so much for being so supportive. I love you guys with all my heart.