Have to wrote all these down because I'm overwhelmed with all these feelings and memories and I don't know where to flow them.
Nevertheless, Don't let RMO do this to you too. Stay sane.
🌸🌸🌸
You would think the youngest child get the most attention. But no they didn't. At least that's me.
Since I was a little kid, I never actually have people who stood up for me, play with me, excited to see me. My family at that time consisted of my older brother, 3 sisters. So is my cousin's who are living next door.
My 3 sisters who are teenagers at that time almost had the same age as my 3 cousins. Which means I'm being left out. Often they play, they would desert me. Because im too young to play with them. When they talk, I can't interrupt. When they play, I become the backup player, to watch over their place while they go out.
What would a 7,8 years old understand at that time? I guess I was happy at times, when they pay attention to me. Which is only one time because I can't stop crying. I learn about loneliness at a very young age. And that's on me.
When I was 7, my right foot got sucked into the bicycle tyre when I went out with my mom. The scars still here and everyday I'm reminded how much hurt i felt that day. Not because of the bleeding and pain. But because of how my family treated me after that.
My parents scolded me when i don't want to go to school because i was in pain. My sisters ignored me and didn't invite me to play. And there's this one memory that still stuck in my head, which of me walking to my mom, to help her but she scolded me, out of nowhere. I'm lost. I really am.
🌸🌸🌸
