Uh, this is called sensitivity to it's fullest.

The Simp (a new meaning)

The Simp
But who isn't a simp… if they… they

A little girl walked around on the grass, she was playing with the twigs, crushing them with her feet. She waited for her parents to come. She was in junior high.

She was at the age where thoughts were feared. Where they swallow her into mild tantrums, mood swings, and hollow depressions. She didn't notice that the friendlessness was doing something to her. She didn't have any talents. Nothing. She read some stuff, didn't have such a great phone like the others in her grade, and with her family's low income, perhaps furthered her talentless. Or that is what she thought at the time. She attempted drawing but gave up after a month of calloused fingers. She attempted to teach herself how to play an instrument, but she didn't have the promised instructor that she needed, she had to let it go.
She attempted learning a language, but in a few years she would only know how to say a few words, and not the the most important ones at that…

She wanted to pick up something, so she did: picked up a little concept called kindness. If that wasn't enough for anyone, then they could leave, she had no other talents. 

She knew she wasn't smart, she believed she couldn't articulate deeply as other, she understood other's difficulties, she complied with reasonable doubt, she wasn't good at anything, she wasn't bad at everything, and she tried new things. She didn't give up until she didn't feel the need to keep going. There was an emptiness with starting and not finishing. It was like a tired balloon… I guess she feared bursting. But would she rather not be able to fly away. She thought about it, but she simply put herself attached to a string.

However, what she didn't know is that preserving kindness was harder than learning anything physical. It was sad, tiring, and wrong. 

What is the point of it if it doesnt work by itself. You become a martyr for nothing. Or is it not a martyr.  She did it because she felt that she could. She didn't need to pay anyone to learn. She had to see it, she had to learn and cultivate it for herself in her own way. She questioned if all that she did was right.

She thought, selfishness, but she knew she observed. She wrote it all down, all the flaws that she made. She didn't want to be an awful person.

But she kept failing… 

She saw what everyone was doing. What was everyone doing? What is going on. She was running in circles. Getting dizzy. She was thinking about weird thoughts. She was thinking that she was falling behind. She was going to starve. She was going to be hungry. She started to cry. She had nothing but the thought of being kind. She questioned if being kind was the right thing… she knew it was. But she meant as in the right thing for her at the moment rather than anything else.

She got picked up by her parents. They came 45 minutes late. She remembered the first few times they did that. She was frustrated and mad because they never came on time. 

She was walking and freezing with her barely warm black jacket. She didn't feel the cold anymore. She didn't care about it. She hopped on to the car abruptly and looked out the window stiffly, she felt something in that moment… but she didn't know what it was. She thought about this a few years later.

She went home and did what she was normal at. Games. She wasn't smart. But she could do fun things. She played in her living room with the only game she had, in the console that she bought herself. What else is there… but soon she would soon regret thinking that.

She met someone at school the next day. She met a dude called Daniel. She immediately became happy when they started talking. It was amazing… it was amazing.

Finally, some communication. They spoke about the things that people usually talk about. It was normal. He kept talking to her until they became friends. They made new friends after a while. It was a lot. Then...

Too bad. She stopped thinking. That was too much of a memory she hated. She hated everything that was too deep, deep with love and cherishing memory.