The Imperishable Flame⎪✓

❨07❩

♂︎

The pounding in my chest intensifies by hearing her soft voice, my sweaty palms are rough proof that I have missed her. Having her this close and not being able to touch her is ripping me apart, seeing her curvy body pressed into a pair of tight pants is absolute torture. Her brown hair has gotten a lot longer, it now reaches past her shoulders and falls down in beautiful curls. Her grey eyes are as intense as I remember them to be and I'm so happy to see that she doesn't hide her charming freckles behind makeup. 

The image my mind has made of her and showed to me during the years doesn't do her justice, not even in the slightest. Three years apart really does something to a person, her sexy curves are rounder and her high cheekbones accentuate her full lips in a manner that has me on my knees. She never understood just how much power she had over me, and my mind cowers from how much she still has. 

It's pathetic that I can't stop myself from admiring her features, but she is still looking at me in the exact same manner. The realization that she will be my psychotherapist hits me in an instant, Mr. Franco assigned me to the clinical trial and I told him I don't care. Not knowing that he would place me so close to my love and yet push me even farther away from her. Messing these sessions up won't be an opportunity, not for me, not for Tilly and not for Dakota either. 

Straightening my back I wear a facade, ensuring that nothing gives my feelings away. This is something I'm good at, especially since I started fighting underground. If your opponent sees even a sliver of weakness in your eyes, you're out. Acting indifferent will make it easier on all of us, I won't ruin the college career she has built for herself and I won't ruin the trust everyone placed on me. Tilly is where my focus needs to be, that's what I have to prove to the social workers.

Something visibly shifts in her warm stare, it turns colder and more professional. She knows it, too. Not that it makes anything easier for any of us, but it surely will help me keep my focus where it should be. She takes two steps closer to me and her familiar sweet scent envelops my body, offering me her hand I shake it in mine and try to ignore how it makes me feel at ease. Even the smallest touch of hers. 

"I'm Dakota Moore, surely Mr. Franco has informed you of the clinical trial, am I right?" She asks, clearly fighting with herself on distancing with professionalism or welcoming with the knowledge she has on being a good psychotherapist. Being warm equals opening her heart and that can end fatally between her and me. Perhaps professional is the best tactic. 

"Elijah Black at your service and yes, Mr. Franco has told me enough," Releasing her hand, we enter her office. My eyes want to betray me and wander around her body, but I keep myself in check as both of us sit down in front of each other. My heart is pounding in my chest, having her this close, but so far really is fucking with my soul. 

What the hell are the chances anyway? I had no idea she attended Barnsley College, but then again she never told me the name of her college. The only time she mentioned it, she said that it was two hours away from Hetdale, and Barnsley is two hours away. I don't think I mentioned Barnsley being my hometown either, so this really is a weird fucking coincidence. Someone up there must be having fun while toying with us. 

"So, Elijah," She starts and I find myself enjoying the way my name falls from her full lips. "How about you start off by telling me a little bit about yourself?"

I want to tell her that she knows the basics anyway, but that would break the wall we successfully built between us. Distance is the safest route, so I decide to play along, "I'm 22 years old, moved to Barnsley with my little sister, Tilly. She just turned 15 and started high school."

Her beautiful eyes widen by the realization that Tilly is a teenager now, the two of them got along amazingly after all. There must be some want in her that is curious about my sister. But then again, my sorry ass is curious about Dakota's life as well, how she is holding up with everything, how her mother is, if Dani and Relly are in the picture still. Brock hit me up a month ago and wanted to meet up, he and Will are the only connections I have from high school. 

"Will you tell me more about your sister?" She queries, this is an attempt at making me comfortable in this room. She is deliberately guiding me to talk about something or someone that makes me happy before she will ask the deeper questions. The questions that will make me uncomfortable, especially since it's Dakota sitting in front of me. 

I nod my head, "Her full name is Matilda Black, she is a teenager with a big T and she often gets what she wants from me. She attends high school and has amazing grades, a large group of friends and if I attempt to take her phone away from her, she will attack. Other than that, she is the sweetest girl with a kind heart, more often than not wearing a huge smile on her face."

Our conversation keeps going with Dakota questioning me, her attempts at digging deeper prove to be futile because I'm not willing to open up yet. I know at some point I have to, this is the make it or break it on whether my sister gets to stay with me or not, but we have a lot of sessions in the future. Right now I can only focus on having Dakota this close again, her sweet perfume, and the way she says my name, everything is messing with my already fucked up mind. 

Some part of me hoped for her to be a psychotherapist that used self-disclosure, but she proves not to be. This also equals to me not knowing shit about her new life, the need and want to know what she is up to and what she enjoys doing is eating at me, but she won't share. Perhaps she will in the future, not today though. 

The time is up and as she shakes my hand, our hands linger for a little too long for it to be friendly. Touching her again is so perfectly painful, I truly don't want it to end. None of us have smiled during this session and some part of me is desperate to see her beautiful smile again. 

"Thank you for today, Elijah," She says and lets go of my hand, the connection is gone within a second. "I'm looking forward to our next session."

I nod at her and grab the handle to the front door, turning around I allow my eyes to scan her body and stunning face once more. "It was nice finally seeing you again, love."

Her eyes widen by my words and I walk outside, it feels so natural to call her terms of endearment. It isn't professional, but it surely is difficult to stop it completely, I don't want to stop it. Her reactions are the fuel to my flame and I will allow myself to burn if even for a minute. She is worth it.