The Imperishable Flame⎪✓

❨38❩

♀︎

Stepping into Mr. Franco's office, I try not to dwell too much on what's going on. Elijah has been ignoring my texts, it's been a week since Lucy and I had our fight. Something feels off. A figure is occupying the couch in the corner of the room and Mr. Franco's eyes meet mine, he shakes his head lightly and gestures for me to sit down in the seat across from him. 

"Good morning," I say, and sit down. Meeting his hard stare straight on, my skin crawls with unease.

The silence stretches heavily in the room and some part of me dreads the thought of him saying anything, he opens his mouth. "Dakota, this will be hard to understand, but I need to inform you of this circumstance. Elijah won't return to therapy, and since I have no other client to assign you to right now, this will be the end of your clinical trial. I apologize for ending it abruptly like this."

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach, "What do you mean exactly?"

"I'm asking you to grab your stuff and attend the school like you're used to," He shrugs his shoulders and I realize how little he cares. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a client coming in about 20 minutes."

He stands up and adjusts his suit, opening the front door for me he hands me my stuff. Apparently, he already had my stuff packed. Grabbing the little box, I step outside the clinic and he shuts the door roughly behind me. This trial was supposed to be my fire and the motivation to keep up with my studies, and then he throws me out like that. 

What happened to Elijah anyway? He has been silent for days on end now and then he stops our therapy sessions without telling me, we only had three sessions left. He was so close to getting full custody of Tilly and I could've been the one to help him. This is too strange, I have to talk to him. 

*********

Knocking on the door I have seen too many times by now, I wait for the upcoming and inevitable storm. Loud footsteps can be heard from inside the familiar apartment and I tightly hug myself, trying to get my erratic breathing under control. Something about this feels horribly wrong, there is this heavy pit in my stomach warning me of the harsh reality. 

The door handle jolts and my heartbeat quickens when the door swings open, what should be a familiar gaze of the happy Elijah frightens me. On the other side of the threshold is a man I have never witnessed before, his green eyes are familiar, but the rim of red trapping them and the dark bags underneath aren't. His hair is a jumble on the top of his head. The sheer torture written across his beautiful features pains me.

"Elijah..." I whisper and my voice lingers in the air. A wave of tension falls upon us and a hard glare lands on his face, he stares at me with such disdain it feels like a knife twisted its way into my stomach. "Are you okay?"

He doesn't answer me, the silence seems unnecessarily long and I have no idea how to break it. Some part of him seems too distant for comfort and that part freaks me out. I take a step away from him, shielding my body from his look. 

"What do you want?" He suddenly spits at me, the absolute hatred on his tongue leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 

Crossing my arms in front of my chest, "You haven't been answering your phone and now you called off therapy, it made me nervous."

He huffs and shakes his head, "And you seriously think coming here will solve anything? You think it will make anything alright?"

His sharp tone makes me worried, there is something completely off with him and everything about this situation. My gut warns me to stay away, to keep my mouth shut, but my heart wants to be here for him, my heart wants to attempt to support him. "Elijah, I have no idea what is wrong and I have no fucking clue how to help you. Will you please tell me?"

A toxic smirk slaps across his features and I brace my heart for the impact, "Quite pathetic how you honestly believe I owe you anything. You are nothing to me, Dakota. This means fucking shit to me! You should've known from all the warnings through high school, this is what you get for trusting me."

The torturous shatter in my chest makes it impossible for me to breathe, my nails dig into the raw skin of my cold arms, I shut my eyes tightly and will for this to be a nightmare. "You don't mean that."

"Oh, but I do."

"Don't, Elijah."

"Come on. You have no reason to blame me, this is what was promised to you the moment we kissed in high school. This is the reality of trying anything with me, this is it! I find it funny how you even managed to trust me and my intentions," There is pain hidden beneath his hurtful words, but the feeling of the world crashing underneath my feet makes it impossible to focus on. 

An unexpected wave of rage clouds my senses as my fingers burn, the need to slap him overwhelms me but I refrain myself from acting upon violence. Meeting his cold eyes with a pair of indifferently harsh ones, "You don't get to do this. I will walk away from you and your fucking pathetic ass, but no part of you should ever be in doubt that you were the one to destroy this between us. We were working out so well and then you come here and mess it up! My feelings for you are too fucking much and I deserve better than this. Hell, I deserve everything and this drama equals shit! Now, if you managed to catch all of that, I will leave you to it."

My legs refuse to walk away when his shocked eyes stare me down, the hurt drowns me and my throat constricts painfully, "So this is it then? You choose to leave me like this?"

"No, Elijah! YOU chose this for us, you are pushing me away and hurting me. If there is anything I'm certain of in this fucked up world, it's MY worth, and I am worthy of more than this."

He leans against the doorframe and looks me up and down, his hot stare leaving a fire caressing my body, "Never expected the angel to set the world on fire."

"I'm not a fucking angel. Angels don't live in constant hell."

"People make horrible choices when they're in bad situations," He states and shakes his head gloomily. 

Grabbing the wall for the support I take a step down the stairs and meet his eyes, he is staring at me with such a reflection of trouble, "Fucking poor excuse for being a bad person, Elijah.

Without looking back I walk away from him. This doesn't mean that I don't love him, it means that loving him is killing me and I have to protect myself. My mind will explode from my situations, ending my trial, ending my friendship, ending my relationship with Elijah. If that is what it was. None of us made it clear. 

Hurrying onto the streets I sit down in my car again and keep the tears at bay, I'm not done for the day. Right now I have to prioritize myself and my hopes for the future, I have to love myself first and protect my heart. This is my time to be fucking selfless without being judged for it and of course, I will take it.