Let me just start off by saying, I'm not like other girls. I like beanies, and pizza, and I'm such a foodie. I'm just not like these blonde, blue-eyed, regular chicks! But I'm getting ahead of myself, the story really begins on the morning of July 4th.
It was my family's annual Fourth of July party at the lake. Have I mentioned I'm like really rich? I'm filthy, stinking rich. My family owns like 10 houses and we go to a different one every year for this party. Anyway so I was at the lake with my friends and family. My mom was there, and my brother, Carl, and my sister, Kensi, and of course my best friend, Unicornia.
Unicornia and I are best friends and we always play this fun game where I push her into the lake and she tries to get out before she drowns! It's so fun we've been playing it since we were like eight every year at 4th of July party. Anyway this time I was like "hey, Unicornia, look at this cool rock!"
And she was like "where, Your Majesty?"
and then I dunked her into the lake. It was so much fun like she was doing a fun little dance in the lake and then she decided to just go under it and dance with the crabs and stuff. I think she was singing the song too, I couldn't hear because of the water so I just walked over to the bench where my family was eating our lunch before the fireworks. My brother, Karl, took all the caviar and I was so angry because caviar is my favorite thing to eat on our imported French bread! I got so mad I was like Karl I wanted some caviar and he was like well I'm eating it as he put the huge balls in his mouth. So I had no choice but to kiss him! As we embraced by the lips I stole the caviar from his dancing tongue.
"Ugh, gross!" Kensi screamed at us.
"What, bitch?"
"Karl is mine you whore!"
"I wasn't kissing him. I know y'all kiss horizontally when mom leaves."
"What?" My mom shouted.
"Kensi you can't kiss your brother!"
"Whatever mom you wouldn't understand!"
I walked away because my mom and sister fighting for my brother's love isn't something I wanted to see again.
"Unicornia, do you want to come out now?" I asked, bored.
There was no response. Suddenly, I felt a jolt in my arm. My head was covered with some cloth and someone dragged me across the grass. My legs dragged across the rocks, splicing them.
I managed to take off the cloth and look up at who was dragging me.
"Mickey Mouse!" I shouted
