We are stronger together

- 10 - Tension

Saturday rolled around and I had done as much as research as I could. I checked possibilities on clothes, pacifiers, strollers, cots, blankets, onesies and everything else that came up. I also had signed up for birth class starting soon.

The only question was... who would go with me?

It was a hot summer and my advancing pregnancy would be the death of me. I was sweating nonstop and could barely sleep. But maybe it was also my emotions running wild, who knew.

I opted for a flowery summer dress that wasn't even maternity wear. I already felt like a whale as it was. I had to smile, thinking that my baby girl was now the size of the coconut.

Taron had invited me over to his place, so we could take his car to go shopping. I could feel myself growing more and more nervous as I took the Tube to his place.

I had to think back to my phone call with Amanda the other day.

"I just don't know what to do" I said as I thought back to the sex debacle with Josh.

"Just tell me what happened" she said, ever the therapist.

I shrugged. I didn't really know and I wasn't proud to share that info.

"Well we had sex and it felt good –" I paused "But... I faked my orgasm" my voice was a whisper.

"You did?" she asked on the other end of the line.

I threw one hand over my eyes "I did. That never happened to me before"

"Are you serious?" she laughed "That's no big deal"

"No big deal?" I gasped "Faking an orgasm with the man I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life?"

We had decided to get married after the baby arrived so it wouldn't be so much stress organising. But Josh was still the man I would marry, the only man I would be with in the future.

"Maybe you were just distracted or not feeling it. Happened to me before" Amanda said calmly.

How could she be so calm about this?

"But – but I thought there is something wrong with my body"

I glanced down at my growing belly "Maybe it's because I'm pregnant"

"Maybe" she answered "But I highly doubt it"

I frowned "What do you mean?"

"Milly" she sighed "It's not your fault. If anything, pleasure can intensify during pregnancy"

I pressed my lips together. That explained why I was feeling hornier.

"We should just change topics" I grimaced.

I couldn't believe I was talking about my sex life that detailed with my best friend.

"You don't have to be ashamed of it. Happens to the best of us" she said cheerily.

"The best of us?" I laughed.

"Yeah. Maybe you had a bad day"

I thought about it. But the most important thing I remembered was thinking of Taron.

Could I tell Amanda? She was my best friend.

"I thought of Taron a lot recently" I said quietly.

She laughed "Well I'm not surprised about that one. I told you you're in love with each other already"

"Amanda" I called "I'm with Josh!"