I think I broke you. I didn't know that this would have such a big effect on you as it did. I was trying to solve a problem the only way I knew how. You never told me to stop, you never told me how you wanted to fix it. I assumed your decision was to avoid it and ignore it forever. I didn't want that. I wanted to talk about it, tell you how it made me feel. I didn't want to lie to you about what I was feeling. I wanted you to know the unguarded truth, so that is what I told you. I wasn't aware that what I was saying made you hate yourself. I wanted to acknowledge that mistakes were made and that we both were going to try to be better in the future. I know that I am stubborn and you probably don't understand where I am coming from some of the time, but you never ask for clarification. I've prayed to God every single day trying to figure out what is going on with you, what our relationship is supposed to be, and how I am supposed to contribute to our success. I thought I was doing the right thing.
My eyes are bruised from crying. I think about you constantly. There is never a minute that goes by where I am not praying for you to be okay. The day after everything happened I didn't have enough energy to sit up for long periods of time because I had cried so much. I fell to my knees in the shower and almost passed out because of the tears and pain. I fell to my knees again after I got out of the shower because the pain in my heart wouldn't allow me to stand. I had to say goodbye to you, the only friend I have. I am completely alone now and no one knows except for you and God. I want this to work out, I really do. I know that you and I were made to be together. You are meant to be in my life forever. We are going to be okay, we always are. I trust God that this isn't over. I also pray that this break will be a short one. Facing life alone is a huge burden to bear, but I will do it if I have to because you are worth everything to me and I need you to be okay. I am truly sorry.
