Broken fragments of a lost soul

We feel more than you know

I hope y'all will be happy with the first update. Its gonna be really short though so bear with me.Enjoy and lemme know how y'all feel.This story will take place in first point of view btw.

It hurts.... Everything hurts. I don't know what pricks more, the sense of not being seen or being in the spotlight. Why do people frown when someone expresses more, why do people laugh when someone falls? Why do people get angry when things change, as if the world is a beam balance for y'all? Is it so hard to once lose control than to fear it all? Is it so necessary to balance myself accordingly for the society that I lose my soul? Do I lose the privilege to break just because I am a man? Do I hide my insecurities just because I am the so-called dominant sex in the world? Life, are you that harsh?

I have seen women get beaten, I have seen women cry, I have seen women beg and I've seen them die when no one heard them. However, in these modern times, women empowerment is going strong and women are finally getting the freedom they have always deserved but yet, where are we? Where are our cries? Where are our pleas? Do we not matter? We all are human and we all fall prey to weakness but why is there no shout to save us? Are we that insignificant?

Having a loving mother, a caring father is what every child wants. But what of a baby boy who craved for love but received hate? What of a teenager who craved for support but felt abandonment? What of a man who craved happiness but received pain? Is society that blind? Am I that weak?!

I cried to my sister, who behaved like my mother all this time, but why did she get snatched from me at the middle of this fight? Attached to her like a wet cloth, telling dreams with hope was once my light, now there she goes to her husband, happily saying goodbye. Was I only made to receive temporary love? And give more than necessary love? Were men supposed to give so much, to only be left with a leaflet of short-termed happiness?

Loving romantically is like a breath of fresh air, no worries of losing someone for they'll be with you till the end of time, or so I thought. Love came as a form of hope, it was the end of insecurities, the time to be vulnerable to the truthful, yet here I laid on my bed, with a bottle of wine, thinking back to my memories of my once, perfect love life, for the person that was mine to hold became a person too cold. Add rejected and not good enough to my list of bad qualities.

Its funny how I thought with every step I'll get better, but turns out my life is a circus and everyone but me runs it. Therefore, when I want things to go right, they definitely go left. So why not try reverse psychology? Why not deceive life? Boy was I wrong.

There I go acting like a stereotypical man, with two girls hanging on my arms, a suit which gave out the aura of desire and a personality that called out to the best. Surprisingly, things work out. I get money, I get love, maybe by a different girl every night but love's love right? Reality slapped a big "wrong" on my face. For nothing is ever perfect, especially when fate is wronged. Judged by not one, but all, hated by not a grown-up but also a child; no longer did I remain a hero for I turned to the man who got stamped with a zero.

Even after all that pain, all that heartbreak, here I stand smiling, for I can never break, I can never feel, for I am a man.